All For Love
by celste
Summary: A&M. Forbidden love...set during World War II in Singapore...sorry but I love setting AU fics in my own country! No offence intended. *Chapter 9* Confrontations abound...what's going to happen with Kanryuu?
1. Prologue

All for Love

_Disclaimers apply as always. I have, and will, try my best to keep things objective, knowing this is a sensitive topic. But however, keep in mind that anti-Japanese, and sometimes anti-British, sentiments were quite real in Southeast Asia then, especially in Singapore where the British, contrary to their promises, failed to protect Singapore from invasion owing to certain factors.  
Again, no offence is meant._

_In this story, Misao's a local Chinese girl and Aoshi...well, stay tuned to find out!_

Prologue

Misao's POV

Whenever I look into the mirror, I'm amazed by the lines of wisdom that are etched across my face. It's hard to believe that nearly sixty years have passed since all that happened. Sixty years is no short time, especially when you have lived through the Second World War. And what happened to girls like me _after_ the war was even worse...to have people of another race torturing you is bad enough. But when even the people of your own race won't let you off?

I don't hate them--it was only right. I did betray them in a way, and I suffered because of it. But I don't regret what I did, because I found my happiness amid times of strife...and I was not going to let go of it. Some see it the other way, but for that bit of happiness, I'll withstand any amount of suffering and hardship. To be branded a traitor, to be beaten up and nearly killed...that is not half of what the resistance forces who were captured endured.

Neither do I hate the invading forces. True, they killed many, and many suffered under their hands, including my family members. Theirs was a reign of terror. But not all of them were wicked...sometimes, not all those who come into close contact with black ink when end up black( _jin4 mo4 zhe3 hei1)_. You cannot judge a person based on his race, or by his actions...this is one lesson I learnt during those turbulent years. 

Many may disagree, but I stand by my words--I've seen through my very own eyes enough to know that those who appear bad may turn out to be good, and those who appear to be good, bad. Some may have said I sided with the enemy, and so betrayed my own people. But I digress--if what I did was betrayal, then what was it that some of the others did for personal comfort? If I'm a 'slut' or 'vixen' because of what I did, what are those people who caused the deaths of neighbours and longtime family friends by acting as secret spies? I did not harm anyone--if I did I did not mean to.

Those years of suffering have been worth it...you can say that I have earned my happiness by pure endurance. Even if it means being called a traitor--or cheap. Only those who have been through the same understand my feelings, though not to the same extent. I did it all for my family...for myself...for the one my heart belongs to. And I don't regret.

Traitor or not? It's not up to you to decide, don't be too quick to judge. Just read my story and then decide...so let's go back to another time...another time where my hair was still long, thick and jet black, where my face was still unwizened by these lines that cross it now.

See the bustling streets below the old shophouses, with rickshaws and trishaws...the street hawkers selling delicacies by the roadside...the Peranakan lady in her sarong kebaya. Hear the chattering and laughter coming from the children playing nearby, the coarse cursing in Hokkien from the men in the nearby coffeeshop...the ticktocking of the noodle hawkers who try to draw customers by hitting wooden blocks together. And then draw your eyes to the girl in the window of the second storey of a nearby shophouse--a girl whose life will soon be changed dramatically. The girl who is taking in the same sights and sounds as you...

To be continued...

Glossary:

Peranakan: Straits born; children of a mixed marriage between Malays and Chinese.

sarong kebaya: the ethnic costume of the Peranakans, made up of a close fitting blouse and a sarong..don't know how else to describe it  


Author's notes: Rather angsty I guess but things will cheer up soon. The later part of this prologue is set at around January or February 1942, before Singapore fell to the Japanese. I have (and still am doing) research for this fanfic so I hope that everything is historically correct!

As always, please C&C!


	2. First Glimpses

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. Please note that great care has been taken to keep certain information as factual and objective as possible. No offence is intended. The old names of some places at that time, as well as the names of areas as known to the Chinese, have been used. I'm sorry I had to use the Chinese names of some characters but it's to make it more authentic._

Names and their Chinese equivalent:

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao  
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Kaoru: Xun/ Xiao Xun  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Yahiko: Mi Yan  


Chapter One: First Glances

Misao's POV

February 11 1942

"Xiao Cao!" my older sister Zeng called. I looked away from the window for a while as she rushed up to me, her face looking grim. I sensed bad news.

"What is it?" I asked her. She looked as if she was about to break down in tears. "Bukit Timah....The Japs were there..."

Fear and worry rushed through me as I got what she meant right away. "Hei Ge and Bai ge...are they okay?" I asked at once. She choked back her sobs.   


"I don't know...I heard it from a British soldier who was at Hui's clinic...it's terrible, almost everyone there was killed, even the women and children! And the volunteers who went there to fight, there has been not much news, but they say that there are few survivors. I told them, Xiao Cao...I warned them not to go!"

My brothers...killed? It can't be, and I had never hoped for something so much in my life. "I want to find out whether they're alive or not! I'm not going to rest until I know!" Throwing open the door, I rushed down the stairs.

"Cao! What do you think you're doing? It's dangerous! What if you run into the Japanese soldiers? If even Hei and Bai were no match for them, what are you? And...and you're a girl...you know what they did in Nanjing..." Zeng ran after me. "Even though you know wushu..." 

"Don't worry, they'll never see me!" I called back to her as I ran out into the streets.

I had never run so fast before for such a distance, and upon reaching the jungle, I stopped for a while to catch my breath. The sky was beginning to get dark, and I wondered whether Lao Die would be cursing me at that moment. It was not safe for a girl of sixteen to be out alone at a time like this, martial arts training or not. And furthermore, the Japanese soldiers were around...

I heard a sudden noise and some voices, and slipped myself behind a tree, hiding in its shadow. Hopefully, it was sufficient...if my heart was not beating so loudly that whoever it was could probably hear it.

The voices came closer. I held my breath. They were speaking in a language that struck fear through my heart--Japanese. A crude laugh.

As they drew nearer, my heart beat faster and my body was nearly numb with terror. What if...what if they did discover me...Zeng was right, there was no telling what they might do to a girl. I held my breath.

The group of soldiers walked past, and I could not help but stare at their khaki coloured uniforms and the peaked caps with the flap behind. One of the soldiers caught my attention most--his uniform was different-- dark green, and his cap was flat. An officer, but rather young. He stood out mainly due to his height, being much taller than the rest. What was worse was that he was looking in my direction, as if he had sensed my presence. I nearly cried out in fear as his intense eyes rested on the tree behind which I was hiding. 

He was kind of handsome, I had to admit, with those greyish blue eyes that seemed so knowing. But I couldn't keep it out of my mind that he could have been the one who murdered my brothers, and a whole lot of other innocent people.

He never took his eyes off the tree and the shadows that surrounded it, and I nearly thought that I would suffocate from holding my breath for so long. Then, one of the soldiers asked him something and he took his gaze away to reply, and I heaved a sigh of relief.

But somehow, the officer left a deep impression in my mind, for some strange unknown reason.

_The officer looked back toward the trees, where he was extremely certain he had sensed a person's presence. In fact, he had caught sight of what his inferiors could not have noticed--a flash of a black braid and a small feminine figure ducking into the trees. A spy? It couldn't be...a spy would not have been as fearful as what he had sensed. Probably someone looking for news of a relative or friend missing in battle._

_He could not help but feel a little sorry. By the time he had gotten news of the massacre and rushed to the site, countless bloody bodies lay lifeless on the ground. All because of the brave fighters who had dared to fight them. He had to admit albeit grudgingly, the enemy side had fought well and bravely, much more so that the pale haired and pale skinned foreigners they had crossed paths with earlier on. If those local fighters, the Chinese resistance force, had been better equipped, perhaps they could even have succeeded in fending off them, the Nippon army. What a pity...he thought of the innocent old people, women and children who lay dead after the massacre of the village. All for revenge...he had thought it was senseless, but what was done had been done. If only he had gotten there earlier, perhaps he could have stopped them, but they were hungry for blood._

_The corpses would have to be given proper burials, and he would see to that as soon as he could by the next day. But it had to be done in secret--his superiors would not like it. And the girl...his thoughts went back to the female figure he had glimpsed. Hopefully she would not be discovered by anyone else. He knew the other officers and soldiers, many of them would not hesitate to kill--or worse. After all, although months and even years without female company was nothing to him, he could not say the same for the others._

_"Shinomori-san, are you sure there's nothing suspicious around?" His friend, Hannya, asked. He nodded. _

_"Nothing. Probably just the wind," he replied. But somehow, he couldn't keep his thoughts of the girl out of his mind._

_To Be Continued_

I know this is rather short, but I promise more the next chapter...although that will probably be in about a month since I have to prepare for my exams which are slightly less than 2 weeks way...well, I'm treating research for this as something like revising for History. In the meantime, please C&C.

Next chapter: Are Hei and Bai dead? Will Cao/Misao and Shinomori meet again? And can he stop her from being um...violated? What about the other characters, where do they all fit in? Answers to all these questions all in the next chapter


	3. A Time of Fear

All For Love  
by Celste

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended and historical facts are as accurate as possible. Please note that nearly all characters are fictional except for 1 or 2 who are real historical persons._

Names and their Chinese equivalent:

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao  
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Kaoru: Xun/ Xiao Xun  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Yahiko: Mi Yan  
Tsubame: Xiao Yan  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 2: A Time of Fear

**Cao's POV**

I ran as fast as I could to the village at Bukit Timah, with only the moonlight to guide me. I didn't want to run into any soldiers again...I had gotten away this time but I couldn't risk being discovered the next. Strange though, the greyish-blue eyed officer had definitely noticed me, why had he not captured me or done anything? From the rumours that I had heard, the Japanese soldiers were blood and sex-thirsty beasts, killing or torturing and raping wherever they went. I hadn't believed it but when I saw the group of them, for a while I was afraid that the rumours were true.

Of course, the officer could be the exception rather than the rule...

The sight before my eyes interrupted my thoughts. The entire village lay in shambles. Blood and corpses were all over the place...every single thing there had been wiped out--cruelly slaughtered. By the Japanese. The dank smell of blood and rotting bodies filled my nostrils, along with the stench of smoke from the fire that had razed what was left to the ground.

How could I possibly hope to find Hei and Bai there, much less alive?

But I had to try. Gingerly, I stepped into the ashes, hoping for the impossible. Tears stung my eyes as I took in the sight...broken bodies, bayoneted and shot. Not just the men, but women...children. Half-burnt corpses covered with blood...limbs torn from bodies...it was horrible and I nearly threw up. But for my brothers' sake, I had to try...to at least find their remains if they weren't alive. And it was nearly impossible that anyone could still be alive after the bloodbath that had taken place there.

A red bandanna soaked with blood. My heart filled with hope as I brushed away the soot from the cold, lifeless body. No...not either of them, but a fellow resistance fighter.

Those men had risked their lives to protect the country. With what little weapons they had--catapults, bird-hunting rifles with only a few rounds, they had laid down their lives and fought bravely, even though they must have known they did not stand a chance against the powerful rifles and grenades of the enemy, whose bayonets spared no one. They did not die in vain...or did they?

I got my answer soon enough. It lay in the soft, khaki colored peaked cap that lay bloodied on the ground, near a body clad in the same-colored uniform that had countless bullet holes through it. A sense of triumph, but I still felt almost sorry for the enemy. How many of those who died were husbands or fathers, brothers or sons? Perhaps their loved ones would never know, and would keep waiting in vain.

Suddenly, I thought of him--the officer. Had he actually done this? Killed so many innocent people? Did he actually allow it? Those intense greyish-blue eyes flashed into my mind. I would probably never know.

I kept searching, my hope waning the more familiar faces I identified. The boy across the road who always waved to me, the uncle who sold noodles by the roadside, a neighbour's son, a friend's father...the cheerful lady who always came to town to sell sweet desserts and bee hoon (rice vermicelli), the little girl I saw so often going to school...the old lady I often met at the temple...the wife of the chicken rice seller...the little boy who loved cycling around.

They were all dead--brutally murdered. My fists clenched. The Japanese soldiers had to be worst than beasts! Sinking into the bloodstained sand, I watched as a tear fell and sank into it. Why did this have to happen? In just barely a month, my entire life had changed--for the worse. We all knew there was a war going on but few had anticipated that the war would come to us...and everything was so real, although I didn't want to believe it. My brothers...probably dead...would they do the same to us in town as well? Would the soldiers massacre everyone regardless of their innocence as well? I didn't want to think about it.

The wind blew and I shivered. It was getting cold. But I had to go on searching, I hadn't checked all the corpses yet. Until I had, there was still hope of finding their bodies--if they were dead. And if they were alive, they probably would have escaped, right? I stood up, and began sifting through the rubble and ruins with renewed hope.

Perhaps...perhaps...

"Xiao Cao! Where have you been the whole night? We've all been sitting here and worrying the whole time!" Jin-jie yelled at me the moment I walked into the house. She froze the moment she saw the look on my face. "Oh no...it can't be..." And then I lost my composure.

"I looked for them...I looked through all the bodies I could find...but I couldn't find anything. We don't even know if they're dead or alive now!" I sank down to the floor, unable to keep the tears from flowing. Silence reigned, nobody knew what to say.

"You say you couldn't find their bodies." Lao Die's voice broke through the unnatural silence. "Then there's still hope that they're still alive. They won't die so easily."

I realised that what he said was true. What had happened to me? I had never been so pessimistic before, but it was only normal I guess. I had grown up with them, and they had protected and taken care of me, together with the rest, as I had been the youngest of all of Lao Die's adopted 'grandchildren'. My real parents had died when I was little--to little to remember much of them. They had been members of what people would call a gang--the Yu Ting Ban Zong. Only it wasn't really a gang in the sense, they hadn't gone around terrorizing people but instead worked with the police in investigations, helping to keep the peace in the country as much as they could. It was during a clash with one of the violent Chinese gangs that my parents had been killed and Lao Die, being a friend of my late grandfather, had taken me in. And he had treated me, as well as Hei, Bai, Jin and Zeng who were either orphaned or abandoned, just like his real kin.

I wondered then how he really felt about the possibility that Hei and Bai were dead. It was hard to read the emotions on his face. But I guess we all had to look on the bright side and hope that somehow, they had escaped and gone underground as the Japanese would not let anyone who was found to be part of the anti-Japanese resistance off, and even their families would not be spared. As long as there was no proof that Hei and Bai were dead, there was still hope. For now, we could only wait and pray.

25th February 1942

In less than two weeks, everything had changed so much. The British had surrendered Singapore to the Japanese. It came as a surprise to many--we had expected the British to defend us but yet-- They had called us an impregnable fortress, but now the Japanese had won. And from then on, Singapore was known as Syonan-to-- Light of the South.

Road blocks and check points had been set up, with soldiers manning them. If you didn't bow to them, they would slap you, or beat you up. I had seen an elderly couple go past them, forgetting to bow. The enraged soldier had pulled them back roughly and slapped the man, kicking him in the stomach.

They beheaded looters, putting the heads up on posts for all to see. It made me sick, but I guess it served as a harsh warning against looting. Still, I couldn't help but pity all those who had to bear the sight of the cruel fate of a loved one.

Then there was the Sook Ching operation, where all men aged 18 to 50, and in some areas, women and children, were called to report at mass screening centres. There, they would be questioned and the Japanese informers and Kempeitai ( the Japanese secret police) would decide who was anti-Japanese. Those who passed the screening were given a precious stamp on a small piece of paper, or even their shirts or arms. Those who did not, I heard, were taken away in lorries and never heard from again.

There were the rapes...or rumored rapes. Many families hid their daughters for fear of what would happen if the soldiers came barging in forcing the residents of a home to provide food and temporary lodging, as they often did. Nobody could refuse them, for the soldiers would beat up (at best) or kill (at worst) those who defied them. And the family would have to act like the soldiers' servants, being at their back and call, up to a few days at times. And at other times, the soldiers would chance upon a young girl in the streets, and drag her forcibly to a deserted place. Sometimes bystanders would try to help the girl away from the clutches of the soldier but few dared to out of fear. Sometimes these girls were kidnapped and taken to brothels to serve the soldiers. As a result, many women and girls cut their long hair short and dressed like men, hoping that they would not attract any unwanted attention. But often, it was in vain.

Zeng and Jin were taking no chances either, they too had cut their hair short and started wearing men's clothes, instead of putting on makeup and beautiful clothes like they had before. Me, I just tucked my long braid into a cap, along with the men's clothing, which I felt more comfortable in anyway. Call me a tomboy but I didn't think any soldier, even the most deprived, would be turned on by my scraggly body. Still I had to take precautions. 

I looked around me. Good, no soldiers. Lao Die hardly let us out now, except to collect rations. Even then, he wouldn't let any of us go alone, even though all three of us--me, Jin and Zeng, knew martial arts. Every family with women was simply paranoid. But having Jin and Zeng around me all the time could be stifling and it was a rare chance that they were distracted by a handsome shop tender, leaving me to scurry home on my own. Even so, I was a little scared, there were so many what ifs that could happen. 

And then I heard the faint screams and cries. They came from a back alley, and I nearly did not hear them. A sense of justice overcoming me, I rushed toward the direction where they came from.

"Help...somebody help...." A woman's voice sobbed in Mandarin. Another voice, male this time, cursed in Japanese. Then, there was a slap and the cries softened into whimpers, pleading softly and weakly. _ "Jiu ming..."_

At once, I knew what was happening. Anger flowed through my body. How dare those Japanese devils [_"Ri ben guizi"_ was what many Chinese people called the Japanese at that time, so forgive me if I offended anyone] actually dare to do such a thing to anyone! I grabbed a piece of wood shrapnel I found lying on the floor nearby, and crept up to them.

She was sobbing and struggling, ceaseless in her cries for help. He--old and overweight, was pinning her down and leering. Shocked and angered, I hurled the piece of wood at his head with all my strength, wishing it were something sharper--a knife, maybe?

"ITAI!" he yelled, and I guessed it was an exclamation of pain. He then yelled out something else before letting go of the woman, and keeled over on the floor, holding his head in pain. Blood streamed from the wound in the back of his head.

I ran to her to help her up. Thank goodness the soldier had not managed to do his evil deed! But the girl, whom I think was much younger than me, was still sobbing. Her clothes were ripped and torn in some places.

"Thank you," she whispered softly.

Suddenly, shadows fell over us. I looked up to see a group of soldiers, all leering lecherously.

"Run!" I yelled at the girl, sensing the danger. Then, I positioned myself in a fighting stance, hoping to distract them from running after the girl. Then I could knock all of them out and make my escape as well.

"You dare to injure a soldier of the Nippon Army!" One of them growled in accented English. I glared back at him. "You're just a little girl...no match for us."

Little girl?! "I'm already 16 this year!" I yelled at them. They had angered me enough! Gathering all my strength, I elbowed him in the stomach. He yelped in pain, and his two companions lunged for me. One of them managed to catch me in an armlock, and I struggled to get away. The other soldier came up to me, brandishing his bayonet.

"_Matte_," the soldier that I had elbowed in the stomach said. He told the other soldiers something, and immediately they all nodded in agreement.

"You are very lucky. My friend says he will delay your death until after we have our fun with you," The one who was holding me down said."

Have their fun with me? Fat hope! I had to show them them we Chinese women were not so easy to bully! With a cry and a strong twist, I freed myself from his grasp, somersaulting in the air to land behind them.

"You Japanese devils!" I yelled, before lashing out with all my might, punching and kicking at everything I saw. And at last, everything was quiet. I surveyed the scene around me. Two of the soldiers lay on the ground, unconscious and bleeding from the nose. I smirked. So they thought that they could--

Before I knew it, I was pushed down onto the ground by a brute force. A low voice hissed, "You little brat, you've done enough..."

The third soldier! I had forgotten about him. And this time, I knew I couldn't escape, having used up all my strength. I could almost laugh at the irony of it all--just a few moments ago, I had saved a girl who had been in the same position I was in now. Now, who would save me?

He leered and his breath stank. It smelt as if he had not taken a bath in years. I glared my fiercest glare and struggled. I would show him--taking a Yu Ting Ban Zong woman by force was not going to be that easy!

I kicked and flailed with all my might, until it was as if I was wrestling with him. But he was so strong...especially as all his weight was on me. I nearly thought I was done for until..

"_Yamero_!" A low, rough voice commanded.

**Shinomori's POV**

I stared disgustedly at Yamada. To think my subordinates would actually try to take the local women by force! To rape is not honorable, especially for a soldier. And he should have known better, having come from a samurai family. "Yamada, _yamero yo!"_

He stopped, and looked up. "_Shinomori-shoukou_ [officer]," he gasped as he hurriedly got off the girl, who was glaring at him with an intense fire in her eyes. He bowed. "_Gomen nasai Shoukou,_ I didn't notice you were there."

I glared at him. I knew him all too well, he and his gang had always been a lecherous trio, so much that even the comfort house was not enough for them and they still had the cheek to go about taking local women by force no matter where they went. They would have to be disciplined severely.

"We couldn't control ourselves and so..." My glare stopped his weak attempt at an excuse.

"It gives you no right to rape," I told him coldly. The girl was still looking at him--no, us with her intense glare.

"But this girl injured Tanaka-san," Yamada argued. "She had to be punished."

"Punished, yes. But not in this way!" I shouted, feeling an urge to slap him. But I controlled myself. A good leader would not act on his feelings in public. 

It was as if Yamada had been trapped by fire. In front of him, I was glaring at him. behind him, the girl whom he had tried to take by force was also glowering at him, her fists curled into tight balls. I had never seen such fire in anyone's eyes in my life.

By then, the other soldiers had regained their consciousness, and scuttled over to kneel down in front of me.

"I'll see to it that you are suitably disciplined. Now get out of here and never show your faces to me again, and be glad that I've decided to let you off lightly for now," I growled. They muttered their apologies and thanks and scurried out of the place, like the rats that they were.

Cao's POV

The officer with grayish-blue eyes, whom I had seen on the day I went out to look for Hei and Bai, then walked towards me. I showed him my fiercest glare, hoping that it would discourage him from trying anything funny. He didn't stop, and I involuntarily trembled slightly in fear. He seemed stronger than the other soldier...and if this officer tried to do anything to me, who else could help? For all I knew, he could have told his inferiors to leave me to him.

His eyes were so cold...so cold and emotionless, yet intense and deep at the same time. There was no sense of warmth coming from that man. He came nearer...and nearer.

"You Japanese devils! You'll rot in hell for all I care," I yelled. I saw his lips curl slightly--was that a smile?

"I like your spirit," he told me in English. I held his gaze defiantly. What did he mean?

"Don't come any closer or I'll--I'll--" This man unnerved me.

"You'll knock me out like you did to him?" He threw a gaze at the soldier with the head wound, lying in a growing pool of blood on the floor. 

"I--I.." He gave another of his partial smiles. "Girls like you will not have injured a soldier without a reason. tell me and I'll decide whether to punish you or not." He sat down next to me.

I hesitated, not knowing if I could trust him. He gazed at me questioningly. I remembered that night when he saw me hiding among the trees, but didn't do anything. And then I decided I could trust him.

"He was trying to take another girl by force. I did it to stop him." There. Now the question was, would he think I was lying? I looked at him straight in the eye. Again, his intense stare burned through me and I couldn't help but wonder about the mystery in those unfathomable eyes.

"Just as I expected. Lecherous as usual." He stood up, and, to my surprise, held his hand out to me. I hesitated.

"I'll accompany you home. Just in case you get attacked again."

I looked at him, surprised. His eyes seemed to smile, as he helped me up.

"Not all of us Japanese devils are that lecherous you know." Was that a joke? He seemed so solemn. And then I realised that I couldn't judge by appearance alone. He seemed like a good man, unlike his subordinates.

"But what about him?" I asked, looking at the unconscious soldier on the floor.

"My juniors would probably return soon with help for him. They know what to do." He turned away. "What is a young lady like you doing out alone at this time anyway?" I realised that it was getting dark--Lao Die and my sisters would be worried--again.

"Well...I was on my way home." I still had a burning question. "Sir--Officer, may I know your name?"

" Shinomori Aoshi. And you? "

"Cao. Juanding Cao." Suddenly, I felt extremely hot--and I realised why. I was actually blushing. Why, I don't know.

Shinomori Aoshi...somehow, I felt an affinity with him and I just didn't know why.

tbc...

Glossary:

_itai_: painful  
_matte_: wait  
_yamero_: masculine command form of "stop"

Sorry for taking so long to put up this chapter, I hope this didn't disappoint anyone who was hoping for something better. Rewrote this twice--the first time, it sounded incredibly like a history textbook (I think some parts still sound kind of textbooky). Sources of information: _Understanding Our Past_ (my history textbook), _Beyond the Empires: Memories Retold_ by Cindy Chou.  
Thanks for reading, and as always please R&R


	4. Mamoru

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply! I've tried to present as accurate as possible all the historical events/information in this story. No offence is intended.  
Sentences/phrases in inverted commas and italics are either romaji (after which an English translation will be provided) or spoken in Japanese.  
C&Cs are welcome_

Names and their Chinese equivalent:

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao  
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 3: Mamoru

Cao looked up at the tall, serious Japanese officer, suddenly feeling extremely shy. He didn't give her a glance, but instead kept on walking, taking long, brisk strides, while she followed behind.

"Where are we going?" she asked, realising that they were not heading in the direction of where she lived. He didn't reply, making her feel a little nervous. _What if he's a wolf in sheep's skin and isn't much better than the rest?_

Her fears were allayed when he stopped in front of a military car. "Some people will misunderstand if they see a young girl walking with an enemy officer. Get in."

She hesitated, still a little wary, as he slid into the driver's seat. Jin and Zeng had warned her countless times of gullible girls who took up a stranger's offer of a ride home and ended up being driven to isolated places where...she didn't even want to think about it!

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning to her with a questioning gaze. Those intense eyes burned through her again, and she lowered her eyes, suddenly shy.

"I--I..." Her face suddenly felt flaming hot. _Cao, what's wrong with you, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?_ Why now when she was just fine with being near him barely an hour ago?

Taking a deep breath, she looked up again, only to see another one of his demi-smiles. 

"Do I look like the type to do things like that?" he asked, as if he had read her mind. Cao felt herself getting redder.

"N-n-no..." she stuttered. This time, his eyes seemed to twinkle as well. 

"Then don't just stand there." He turned back to the front.

Cao stood there for a moment, still a little uncertain. Although she knew she couldn't trust him so quickly, her intuition told her he was a good man. besides, hadn't he saved her? And hadn't he not given her away the first time they had seen each other? 

Having made her decision, she slid into the seat beside him.

They stood just below the flight of steps that led up to the second floor of the shophouse where Cao and her family lived., making sure there was some distance between them. Any closer and those who saw them would misunderstand.

Cao was suddenly nervous. In all sixteen years of her life, she had never come home with a boy other than her brothers. What would Lao Die and her sisters think? Furthermore, he was a Japanese soldier--considered an enemy, especially since the Japanese soldiers had caused the disappearance of her brothers.

"I won't accompany you any further," Aoshi replied, sensing the girl's discomfort. She nodded, not daring to meet his eyes. 

Just as he was about to take his leave, there was the sound of steps as Jin practically flew down the stairs. She stopped short at the sight of them.

"Cao, you're finally home! What did you think you were doing?I was just going out to search for you. Do you know how worried we were when we reached home and found out you still hadn't reached home? Especially during a time like this where the Jap--" Jin halted and stared, open mouthed, at Aoshi. Her lips opened and closed, as if she was saying something. But no words came out.

"I'm Officer Shinomori. I found this young lady on the streets and gave her a ride home." Aoshi's voice sounded as cold and detached as before. Jin, by then, had regained her composure, but was still a little too shocked to say anything else.

"If there's nothing else, I'm taking my leave." He turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Cao called out. He stopped, without turning back.

"Thank you," she told him. He nodded, and went on his way. And she watched him, with eyes filled with wonder and a heart filled with gratitude...as well as a little something else she could not quite comprehend.

"What?" Cao shrieked later that day. "I'm not going to, no matter what you say!"

Zeng looked up, her eyes a little sad. "We didn't want this too, but it's for the best. People are marrying their daughters off to any bachelor they can find, just to prevent them from being taken away by those soldiers."

Cao looked at the photos again and grimaced. "No, no, no and no. You're not marrying me off! I don't need a matchmaker! Why can't I stay here with you?"

"It's for your own good." Zeng didn't dare to meet her eye.

"And Lao Die actually approved of it?" Cao was practically yelling by now.

"It was his idea, after all you're of marriageable age."

"Well, tell him I'm not! I'd rather marry some young, handsome Japanese soldier than a man who's old enough to actually _be_ my grandfather!" Eyes flashing, she slammed the stack of photographs down onto the table and ran to her room, sobbing.

_Why do they have to do this to me? I know many people are doing it, but why can't I be free to choose my own husband? I can't be that undesirable right? And I'm just not ready...I don't want to be stuck with a man I don't love for the rest of my life._ She watched as a tear dropped onto her pillow. Oddly, a picture of Aoshi flashed into her mind. Those intense eyes...that emotionless face..._I wish he were here to save me this time, even if it's kind of crazy. He isn't some immortal after all, can't save me from everything!_

And then she realised the real reason she felt so strongly against having an arranged marriage.

She wasn't really sure why, after all she had only met him properly less than 4 hours ago! Yet, it felt as if she had known him for a long time--she had felt that way since the fateful night she first saw him.

Was it love? She did not know--how could she? She had never loved anyone_ that_ way before. But love at first sight...was a rare thing, wasn't it? She didn't know what she felt, all she knew was that she looked forward to seeing him again. Even the thought of it made her smile through the tears that were stopping.

She knew that they would definitely meet again.

_He turned back when they were gone, to make sure she went up safely. He had known long ago that she was the girl whom he had caught a glimpse of that night, hiding in the shadows. The energy that radiated around her--it was no mistake. Although her hair was no longer worn down in a braid, he still recognised her from the way she made him feel whenever she was near. It was as if her mere presence could lift the darkness and burden from his heart. Why this was so, he did not have any idea. Perhaps it was her innocence..._

_Assured that she was safe, he continued on his way again._

* * *

_A few days later_

Cao adjusted the baseball cap on her head. She couldn't risk it falling off, especially now when Hui-jie needed her help.

Casting her eyes downward, she bowed to the Japanese sentry and made her way through the checkpoint, inwardly sighing in relief. Every time she passed a checkpoint like that, there was a risk of getting discovered-- that she was a girl dressed as a boy. It took a whole load off her shoulders whenever she passed through the checkpoint safely.

"You, stop!" Her heart froze as she was roughly pulled back. The same pair of hands knocked her cap off. Looking up in horror as her braid tumbled down, she met a pair of small, hard, cruel eyes.

The soldier slapped her with such force that she fell to her knees. "So, a girl in disguise! You try to deceive the Nippon Army! You will pay for that!" he growled in accented English. 

Cao could only glare at him, much as she wanted to fight back. Experience, both her own and from seeing others tortured badly whenever they showed defiance toward a soldier, had taught her not to retaliate. Gritting her teeth so hard that pain shot through her jaws, she endured the kicks and slaps, each time wishing that she could pay her abusers back in full--or even 10 times more if she could help it!

Then, almost as suddenly as it had started, the blows stopped. Cao looked up, dazed by the cruel beating. Before she knew it, one of the sentries roughly pulled her up and started to drag her to a secluded spot in the back alley of a nearby shophouse.

Realising what was happening, Cao screamed at the top of her lungs and struggled._ Just my luck, why me?_ His grip was too strong, she could not free herself this time. Using all her energy and lung power, she yelled for help another time. Angered, the sentry slapped her again.

"_Kono onna no ko , te o hanase_!" [That girl, let go of her!] A familiar voice commanded roughly. The hands which were gripping her arms tightly suddenly let go. She fell to the ground in shock.

"_Give me a good reason,_" the sentry told Aoshi in Japanese. Aoshi felt his anger rise to his head, but he forced himself to keep calm. He could not show any emotion--not now. It would undermine his authority. And he couldn't risk that, especially not in front of this Yamada, who was practically the only soldier who would actually dare to challenge a superior in his whole regiment.

"_I said, let her go. You do as I say, I am your superior."_ Aoshi's eyes glinted.

_"Not until you give me a good reason."_ Aoshi's eyes narrowed at the smirk on Yamada's face. He took a deep breath. Anything...anything to save her...

_"Ore no onna da."_ [She's my woman.] He said this matter-of-factly, as if Yamada should have known.

Yamada's eyes widened, and he immediately began bowing nonstop. "_Sorry, officer! Forgive me, I didn't know she was your woman or--or I would have never--"_

_"I'll see to it that you are suitably punished. Now return to your duty!"_ Yamada bowed a few times more and scurried back to the checkpoint, while Aoshi kneeled down beside Cao, who was now staring in wonder at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. She nodded blankly.

"You...you're always the one who saves me...you saved me the other time, and now..." She looked down and blushed. Aoshi smiled in his heart, though his face remained solemn as usual. Her bashfulness made her all the more adorable. Despite everything she said and all her actions, she was still an innocent girl, more innocent than any of the others he knew. And that was why he always felt an urge to protect her from anything... everything that could hurt her.

"What are you thinking about?" her voice cut into his thoughts. He met her eyes. "Nothing much, I was just wondering why you always seem to be the target of my juniors."

She looked away from him. "I don't know. Either they're really deprived or..."

"Or what?" he asked. 

She didn't dare to reply, and so changed the subject instead. "What did you tell the sentry that made him let me go?" This time, she looked at him straight in the eye. "He sure let go in a hurry. If you told him I have a venereal disease or something you'd better watch out."

His eyes twinkled. "Maybe I should have." Good, she was recovering from the shock and returning to her normal, spunky self.

"Come on, out with it!" She cocked her head, and he could not help but smile slightly. Few of the locals, if at all, would behave so unrestrainedly around a Japanese soldier. When they saw him, they cowered in fear, as if they expected him to coerce a confession of collaboration with the resistance forces out of them. Their meek, stammering replies made him wonder what his inferiors and counterparts had been doing to the locals.

But this girl...Cao...was different. She seemed to forgive so easily, and showed no fear.

Looking at her inquisitive look, he kept his face straight as he told her in a reproachful tone. "You don't know what I can do to you for showing contempt to an officer."

"Whatever it is, you won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're a good man, I can see that." Her words struck deep into his heart. _Because you're a good man._ How ironic those words were. If Aoshi had been alone he would have laughed out loud at her naiveté. A good man? How would she know? _What_ did she know? She had not seen him doing practically nothing as those under his command massacred hundreds to thousands of civilians, who were believed to be aiding the Anti-Japanese resistance, at the beach. She had not seen him decapitating a member of the resistance who had been caught passing out anti-Japanese flyers. Would she think the same if she had seen all that?_ You don't know anything...you're too young to know anything._

"Will you just _tell me_?" She begged. "I promise I won't get angry..." It was hard to ignore the pleading look in her eyes, and Aoshi decided to give in. 

"I told him you were my woman." He expected her to hit him, to slap him, or even beat him up like she did to those soldiers who had tried to rape her the first time round. But she didn't. Instead, she lowered her eyes shyly, a pink flush growing on her cheeks.

"He actually believed it?"

"Why not?" He stood up.

"Because...just because." She got to her feet behind him. "Anyway, thanks for saving me--for the second time..."

"You'd better be on your way." he didn't turn back. "I might not be there to save you if you get attacked again, so be careful...tell them you're Shinomori's woman, if you want." His tone softened. "If you ever need my help, you can look for me at the barracks near the Kempeitai centre."

And then he left, leaving her to gaze after his retreating back, just like she had so often.

tbc...

Notes: Okay, I don't really know where the Japanese military barracks were during the occupation. Much as I searched, I couldn't find anything about that. Anyone who wants to correct any information is welcome to do so. As such, I've just realised that there is pretty much a lack of information on certain topics--does anyone know anything about the different colored flags on Japanese military cars that signified different grades of Japanese officers? The book that I found--"Syonan--Singapore Under the Japanese" is pretty much a summary of oral interviews and no more than that, so I could not find further information.   
To all those readers who waited for weeks in vain for this chapter to come out(bows head) Gomen nasai! Just that I got stuck with writer's block and rewrote this whole chapter a few times until I was satisfied.   
Yeah, i know Aoshi was quite OOC, especially in the last chapter. It is kind of hard to write in character sometimes, and in this chapter, I just want to show that Aoshi's more relaxed around Cao(Misao), as if her innocence and openness counters his darkness and reserve.  
Thanks for your patience!  



	5. How Do You Love Someone You Hardly Know?

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is meant to anyone! I've tried my best to ensure that all historical information is accurate. Readers are free to correct historical mistakes._

Names and their Chinese equivalent:

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao  
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Tsubame: Yan-er (I know that in the Chinese version of the manga, it's Xiao Yan but this is just something a little different.)  
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 4:How Do You Love Someone You Hardly Know?

"I'm getting married," Cao's friend Xiao Xun told her matter-of-factly as they helped Doctor Hui bandage up a man who had been tortured badly by the Kempeitai.

Cao's hands froze. "What? To whom?"

"I don't know. All I know is that his name is Jian Xin and that he's 28 this year. It's an arranged marriage." Xiao Xun didn't dare to meet her eyes. "The wedding's next week."

"That's rather soon isn't it?" Cao wondered out loud. Xiao Xun nodded. "No choice, my parents feel that the sooner I'm married, the better. The nearest auspicious day in the almanac was next week. They'd marry me off today if they could!"

"You've got it lucky, 28 isn't that old. Lao Die wanted to marry me off to someone who was practically as old as him!" Cao rubbed antiseptic onto a gaping wound in the man's back.

"_What did they do to you?_" she asked the man in Hokkien, which she had picked up from some friends. His injuries were horrendous, with bleeding gashes which appeared to be caused by a whip, and burn marks all over. She still couldn't believe that a person could actually do this to a human being, or even that the one who did this was one of Aoshi's subordinates.

"_They...they thought I was working for the resistance forces...they arrested me and tried to force me to confess...I told them they didn't know anything but they insisted...pumped me full of water until my lungs nearly burst...tried to electrocute me...whipped me everyday...I thought I was going to die but they suddenly let me go..."_ the man rasped. _"Those Nippon devils...they're not human..."_

Suddenly, the door flew open and a man dragged in a girl, who couldn't be much older than Cao. The girl's clothes were torn, there were scratches all over her and her hair was in a mess. Semi-conscious, she was crying weakly, "No, no, don't do this to me! Let go! Let me go!"

"I found her on the street," the man told Dr Hui. "I think she's been raped."

Cao turned away. The girl reminded her of her own ordeal. She herself had been lucky to be saved from a similar fate by Aoshi--not once, but twice. It was sobering to know that others might not be as lucky, and her heart ached for the girl. _If only every girl had someone like Aoshi...to protect them..._She had an urge to go up to the girl, to comfort her. And a voice in her head told her that she should.

"Cao, is there something wrong?" Xiao Xun asked her. "You seem to be in a daze." She looked rather worried. "If there's anything you can just tell me okay?"

Cao shook her head. Xiao Xun had been a good friend and confidante ever since they were little, and was like another older sister to her, but she just did not want to tell anyone about what had nearly happened to her, not at that moment. 

"I think that girl needs a little consoling," she told her instead.

"Go ahead, I can cope with him by myself. There's not much left to bandage anyway," Xiao Xun offered.

"Thanks!" Cao secured one last bandage and went off to the bed where the girl lay, tears running down her face.

"Is she okay?" she asked Dr. Hui.

"Physically, yes, but I think the trauma's going to last for a long time." Hui shook her head. "Poor thing.._.those soldiers are really inhuman_," she whispered. "I thought they had comfort houses but apparently those are not enough."

"Comfort houses?"

"You know, where they have some women who provide _that kind of_ services..." Hui explained. The man who had brought the girl in, overhearing what she said, shook his head. 

"The women in those houses mostly aren't willing either. I heard that they were kidnapped from other invaded countries and forced to serve the soldiers."

Hui's face turned grim. "Then it means that those soldiers are total barbarians."

"Don't let anyone else hear you. The Japs have spies everywhere." As Hui and the man discussed the atrocities in hushed voices, Cao made her way to the bed.

"Why don't you just let me die?" the girl sobbed. "I don't want to live anymore...not after..." she broke down into tears again. "Nobody will want me now! Why don't you leave me alone and let me just die? they took me by force! They made me...made me do things even a whore will feel shameless doing...they made me serve the soldiers! Whenever I tried to retaliate, she...the owner of the house...would beat me senseless...I tried to run away but they always caught me and brought me back...I tried to kill myself. Why did he have to find me? Why can't you all just let me end this miserable life?"

_So it just wasn't once,_ Cao thought to herself, heart filling with more pity than before. _There may be nice soldiers like Aoshi, but I have to face it--the majority of them are pigs--no, worse than that, they're not even animals._ She took the girl's hand, eyes burning with fire.

"What they want is to see us destroy ourselves. They want to get rid of us. By dying, you're only giving them what they want. Don't give it to them! You must not let them win! You must live on! Show them they can't break our spirit, no matter what they do! Remember, don't let them win! You must be strong!"

"I mustn't let them win," the girl repeated, her eyes taking a determined glare. "You're right, they just want to destroy us...I can't let them win!"

"That's right! We can't let them win!" Cao thought of her brothers who were still missing and presumably dead, of the soldiers who had tried to take advantage of her, of the man who had been tortured so brutally by the Kempeitai, of the innocent victims of Bukit Timah, of the thousands of lost lives. How many of them had been innocent? How many had died in vain? How many had lost loved ones? How many had to live in a fate worse than death? Fury cursed through her. _What did you do to my home? My family? My life? Give the peace back to us!_ And amid all that, a face appeared in her mind.

_Aoshi..._could he have had a hand in all that? He was an officer after all--highly ranked at that. But he had been so kind to her, he had been her savior, twice over. As much as she hated the conquerors of her homeland, she could not bear to be angry at him, even if she wanted to. _It wasn't him who killed my brothers...it wasn't him who nearly raped me..._she was so confused, torn between what she felt and what she should be feeling. He was of a race which had thrown her home into chaos, which had done things worse than what any human would do, which had the blood of countless all over their hands...but yet, he was her savior, who had protected her and seemed so good.

"Excuse me?" the girl asked. Cao snapped back into attention. "Yes?"

"Thanks for bringing me to my senses again." This time, the girl smiled. "My name's Yan-er. What's yours?"

"Cao." Cao smiled. "Nice to meet you."

* * *

The rain beat down onto the flimsy roof of the barracks. Aoshi sat on his bed, polishing his katana, a sign of rank among soldiers. He looked at the uniform jacket that hung nearby, at the badges that decorated it, screaming his rank out to everyone--a major. What did it mean to be that anymore? He had seen so many officers abusing their authority, and was sick of it. What had happened to their sense of honor? Somehow, he didn't know his purpose in life anymore. Like others, he had been victorious when the British had surrendered Singapore--no, Syonan--to them. But looking at what his subordinates had been doing to the local people, he was less than proud. They treated the locals as less than animals, forgetting their values and the code of honour. _Maybe I shouldn't have taken up that offer after all._ Why on earth had he accepted when a reputable general offered him the position of a major if he enlisted in the army?

Back in Japan, he had been the Okashira [head] of a group of ninja. As the number of members dwindled, he had no other choice but to accept the post, bringing along the four most loyal of his followers--Hannya, Shikijou, Beshimi, Hyottoko. The five of them had sworn to always abide by the code of honor, to never bring shame upon the country or to the emperor They hadn't counted on how hard it was to keep that promise.

Nobody else would ever understand the guilt Aoshi felt, the nightmares that rocked his sleep every night ever since they had conquered Syonan. His conscience still rocked him--giving the command for the soldiers under him to shoot those who had been rounded up during Sook Ching into the sea, the many times he had beheaded offenders of the law, with his very own hands and the very sword he was polishing. When he closed his eyes, all he saw was blood--blood and corpses. In his nightmares, his hands, his sword...everything was stained with blood. And so often, he had felt so ashamed touching Cao, for fear of dirtying her with the blood that would remain on his hands forever.

_"Because you're a good man..."_ he repeated those words to himself. Maybe to her, he was. Perhaps he had saved her to atone for the evil he had done...to rid him of his conscience. 

_What does she mean to you?_ the question unexpectedly popped into his head._ Just a convenient aid to help you atone for your crimes?_ Or did she mean something more? He remembered how it seemed as if all his burdens disappeared with her around. Only when he was with her did he feel that he could be himself, without all the formalities and aloofness.

_What does she mean to me?_ Telling Yamada that she was his woman seemed to come so naturally, although she was not and would probably never be. Yet, did he unconsciously want it to be true? He had yet to sort out his thoughts. For the first time in his life, he felt so confused about his feelings. If the girl did not mean anything to him, why had he saved her, time and again, when he could have just left her and let his subordinates do what they wanted to her? Why had he told Yamada she was his woman, when he could have said something else to save her?

_I just don't want to do any wrong again..._but why her? Why not some other? If he wanted to right a wrong, he could just go to the prison and free every single person there, or gone to the comfort house and demanded that all the women be freed, even though it would mean a long lecture or even punishment from his superiors. Destiny was just too complicated for him to understand. But there was one thing he knew--he did not deserve her.

He would make sure that she wouldn't get too close to him, that their friendship did not grow into anything more, for it would hurt her if it did.

And he was sure he would not be doing any wrong this time.

* * *

Staring at the rain outside, Cao could not help but sigh. The rain always brought back all her memories, both happy and sad.

In a corner, Dr. Hui was chatting with the man who had brought Yan-er in. From what he told them, his name was Guan Liu and he had provided arms and weapons for the British military in Singapore before the war. Now that the Japanese had taken over, he had not been allowed to continue his business due to Japanese fears that he would provide weapons to the anti-Japanese resistance. The only other job he could find was in a factory.

The rain was getting heavier--she wouldn't be able to make it home now, even if she had an umbrella, which she did not. During a storm like this, the streets flooded quickly. She could only stay in the clinic and wait.

Closing an open window in the clinic, she walked back into the waiting room. Xiao Xun was sitting on a chair, staring at a photograph. Curious, Cao looked over shoulder, attempting to catch a glimpse of whatever had caused her friend to go into such a daze.

"Who's she?" she asked. The black-and-white photograph showed a long-haired person with a scar on his left cheek, smiling at the camera.

"Huh? Oh, *_he's*_ my fiance," Xiao Xun blushed. "I know he looks kind of feminine..."

"Wrong, he looks _very_ feminine." Cao winced. "You don't see men with long hair very often nowadays." Looking up at Xiao Xun's murderous look, she quickly added, "But he's quite good looking. Is he mixed blood or something? His hair isn't black."

"I don't know. I saw him in person only yesterday, when he came over to my place for dinner. He actually offered to wash the dishes for us, believe it or not!"

"Serious?" Cao nearly choked. 

"Yeah."

"What about that scar?" Cao was extremely curious about it. 

Xiao Xun shook her head again. "I didn't ask, and he didn't tell. I think it must be part of his past that he doesn't want to remember. Everyone has a past they're not willing to talk about, if he doesn't want to, I'm not forcing him."

Her words surprised Cao, firstly because of how mature Xiao Xun sounded, and secondly because it made her think of Aoshi.

Up to now, she was still uncertain about what exactly she felt for him. It was almost like Xiao Xun's arranged marriage--all they both knew were the name, and what the other party looked like, and perhaps some impression of the other party's personality. But apart from that, everything else was unclear. The only difference was that technically, Xiao Xun had the right to know Jian Xin's past, being engaged to him, while this was not so for Cao and Aoshi.

_How can you love a person you hardly know?_ It was a question she didn't have the answer to. She remembered asking Jin once what being in love felt like.

_"Well, you're always happy with him and there's a warm feeling in your heart, and you just can't wait to see him again and...a lot more._ _ It's like you've known him for a long time, even if you just met."_

_"But Jie_[elder sister]_, I don't understand, how can I know someone for a very long time if we just met?"_ Cao remembered asking with all the wide eyed innocence of an eight year old. Jin had merely smiled and walked away.

_"You'll know when your time comes."_

Now, she wondered if her time had come, because whenever she saw Aoshi, she felt exactly all that Jin had described. 

"But how do you love someone you barely know?" she asked herself out loud, without even knowing it.

"Cao? Are you there?" Xiao Xun's voice snapped her away from her thoughts. "You seem to keep spacing out lately. Is anything wrong or something? You can tell me, you know." She looked extremely worried.

In a split second, Cao made her decision. "I guess I should, but I don't know where to start." She lowered her head. What would Xiao Xun think of a friend who had feelings for a Japanese soldier?

"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" Xiao Xun suggested.

"Okay...but please promise me you won't be disgusted with me." Next to her, Xiao Xun looked at her attentively. Cao took a deep breath.

"On the day the Japanese attacked Bukit Timah, I went off to look for my brothers......"

"And that's all?" Xiao Xun asked when Cao had finished. Cao nodded.

"It's really kind of hard to believe--I mean, with the officer--what's his name again?"

"Aoshi."

"Yeah, with Aoshi always appearing just in time whenever you're in trouble...but since my best friend rarely tells lies, I believe you."

Cao smiled. "Thanks. For a while I almost thought you wouldn't." She covered her face with her hands. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I really love him or anything! How do you fall in love with someone you barely know?"

Xiao Xun looked at her seriously. "I don't know how to give advice on this, but as your friend, I can only tell you this" She paused, and Cao looked at her inquisitively.

"I think you should stay away from him, Cao, it's better for you that way. As you said, you don't really know him. For all you know, he could turn out to be just a wolf in sheep's skin. Even if he weren't, what will people think if they saw you with him? They'd think you were an informer or something and if--no, when the Occupation ends, you don't know what they'll do to you. Please stay away from him, Cao! You'll be happier this way. Forget him, and stay away!"

Xiao Xun's eyes were looking at her earnestly, and Cao realised how true her words were. Even though they did not dare voice it out loud for fear that the Kempeitai and spies would overhear, many people despised those whom they presumed were Japanese informers or those who appeared to be sycophants, switching loyalties as and when they thought they would benefit more from the other side.

"Thanks, Xiao Xun, but I don't care, I'm not going to stay away. Forgetting the person one loves--will it make one happy? You don't understand......you won't..." By then, she was on the verge of tears. Before she knew what she was doing, she had run out of the clinic into the heavy rain, sobbing uncontrollably.

And then she ran, oblivious to the fact that the water on the streets was fast rising up to her knees. She just waded through the water, running when she could, to where, she didn't know or care.

At last, exhaustion and the cold, rainy weather set in, and she found herself falling...falling... She felt a familiar pair of muscular arms wrap themselves around her.

And then, everything went black.

tbc...

ok, it's rather predictable from here isn't it?  
It's gonna get more *interesting* from here....  
Fuuko-san, yup, I'm Chinese  
Thanks to everyone for their kind comments!:)  
*Arigatou Apple-san for reminding me that Kenshin's scar was on his left, not right cheek. I dunno why but in the picture which I checked to make sure of the side the scar was on, the scar was on his right cheek. Anyway, that mistake has been rectified:)


	6. Revelations

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. Italicized words in quotation marks and asterisks are spoken in Japanese._

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Tsubame: Yan-er   
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 5: Revelations 

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up with a start, realising that she was in an unfamiliar place. Heart pounding so hard in her chest that it seemed like her entire body pulsed together with it, she looked down and nearly screamed out loud in horror, having discovered that someone had changed her clothes for her. She now wore a black t-shirt that was so big, it reached her knees.

Looking around the room for any clue to the identity of its owner, the first thing she noticed was that it was very neat, although small. There was a table in the corner, on which there were a few books and papers, stacked together tidily. A long sword rested in the corner next to the futon she was lying on.

Her heart skipped a beat in shock as her eyes darted to the wall on the other side, where a Japanese military flag hung. A soldier...her fear intensified as she thought of all that had nearly happened to her...and the fact that whoever it was had probably seen her body while changing her clothes for her...or even done something worse. If he hadn't, if he came back he could--And then, another sight calmed her down. The dark green uniform jacket of an officer lay on her lap, having fallen from her torso, which it had originally covered, when she sat up suddenly.

"Aoshi..." she felt a hot flush rise to her cheeks again as she recalled what had happened. _So it was him who saved me and brought me here when I fainted in the streets...him, as always._ She did not even want to think about what could have happened if it had not been Aoshi but someone else. She knew that Aoshi wouldn't have done anything to her.

She could trust him. She was extremely sure of it.

Footsteps. He walked into the room, wearing a black undershirt and his uniform trousers. Those intense eyes seemed to smile when he saw that she was awake, although the rest of his face stayed passive. Kneeling down next to her, he placed a hand on her forehead.

"Good, no fever." His eyes were soft as he looked at her, concerned. "Why were you out without shelter in such a heavy storm anyway?" He seemed rather curious now. 

"I...I uh..."She blushed bright red. There was no way she could tell him the truth! Even if...even though he had...she turned redder, thinking about the fact that he had probably seen what he wasn't supposed to.

"Did you...did you see...?" She turned her head away, too shy to go on. He smiled another faint smile, guessing what she was probably thinking about. 

He gestured behind her toward the rope that hung across the room, near the closed window, where her clothes were hanging. "I wouldn't have been able to change you out of those wet clothes if I hadn't."

The confirmation just made her feel shyer with him. If this had taken place just a decade or two ago, he would have been obliged to marry her, as soon as possible! In fact, if Lao Die found out about this....

She didn't dare to look at him.

Her sudden shyness made him smile again. Funny, he had found himself smiling quite often, be it inwardly or outwardly, ever since he had met her. But he hadn't seen such innocence and spirit for a long time. It made him think of the childhood he had lost.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he had placed his hand on her chin, turning her face toward him. She still didn't dare to look up and so kept her eyes downcast.

_Almost like a bashful bride on her wedding day,_ he couldn't help but think. Strange, but an image of a wedding day came into his mind. She was his bride, bashful and blushing, just like now...and he was the groom, swearing to love and protect her forever...

_But it'll never happen._ His practicality smashed that pleasing vision into pieces. Even if she did reciprocate his feelings, a marriage would be near impossible. He knew what many of the locals felt toward their rulers--or rather, invaders. A marriage would definitely meet with strong objection.

And even thinking about marriage was too presumptuous. He didn't even know if she felt the same for him. They didn't even know each other well enough. Besides...it would only hurt her if they got too close. He had seen the scorn with which the locals had treated a local woman who had married a Japanese businessman, and did not want the same to happen to Cao.

He met her eyes again, and she was stunned to see the emotions that ran in them with such intensity--something she could not quite make out, then strength, then fear, and then resolution. _Sometimes he seems so __impassive, but he does feel after all, only he doesn't show it..._

He removed his hand from her chin and looked away. "I'll take you home when the rain stops. I've sent someone to inform your family."

Cao realised that night had fallen._ Lao Die and everyone else must be so worried. They'd be even more worried if they knew I was with a Japanese soldier though. And poor Xiao Xun...she must be feeling so guilty._ She sighed. Her friend had meant well, but she would never be able to understand how she felt. She had, admittedly, been quite surprised when Xiao Xun had told her to stay away from Aoshi. After all, as Xiao Xun had always been the type to fight for what she wanted, Cao had thought that she, of all people, would understand.

Suddenly, she felt so lonely.

Her best friend was getting married in less than a week, so they probably would not spend as much time together as before. And her own family was also planning to marry her off.

She snuggled into the futon, seeking more warmth from the blanket. It smelt of him, and this somehow comforted her. Hugging her knees to her chest, she stared at his back, which she had, by now, become so familiar with.

There was nothing but the sound of raindrops and the whistle of the wind as they both stared out of the window at the rainy night.

Finally, Aoshi broke the silence. "It doesn't look like the rain is going to stop anytime soon. I think you'd better stay here overnight." 

"But...but..."she lowered her eyes again. He smiled and walked toward her.

"No buts. You're staying whether you like it or not. I'll take you home tomorrow." His tone softened. "You seem tired...just sleep."

"But what about you?" 

He just smiled. "Just rest." He turned off the lamp that had been giving the room light. Then, Cao heard the door open and shut. And all was silent once more.

She rested her head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling, just thinking, and slowly drifting into sleep.

***

_*"Aoshi-sama, are you sure that you're doing the right thing...about the girl?"*_ Hannya asked him. The five of them were gathered in Hannya's room, chatting.

Aoshi nodded, not saying a word.

_*"But it might not be so good for your reputation. You don't know what Yamada has been saying..."*_

Aoshi looked at him questioningly. For a while, Hannya seemed to be afraid to tell him.

_*"Don't get angry, Okashira...the moment he found out that you took the girl into the room, he's been going around complaining about you being hypocritical...about you stopping him from taking pleasure of the local girls, but doing the same yourself. He's also been saying that you've been abusing your power to protect the locals and forgotten your race."*_

Aoshi's eyes glinted. *_"He can say all he wants. No one but his cronies will believe him anyway."*_

Shikijou sighed. *_"But you must be careful, Okashira. They say that women often bring trouble. You can't forget who you are. And...and socialising with a local girl might not be that good for your reputation. She's so young..."*_

_*"I know. But somehow, I feel as if I must protect her, no matter what."*_

For a while, his four friends were silent. 

_*"I don't know if I should say this but...but..."*_ Beshimi faltered. 

Aoshi arched an eyebrow at him. *_"You know I've always trusted the four of you. If there's anything, just say it."*_

_*"Okashira, have you ever considered the fact that you might be in love with the girl?"*_

Aoshi looked at his friends inquiringly. _"What makes you think so?"_

_*"When...when she fainted , you looked so worried. And you've been telling us alot about her...the look in your eyes when you talk about her..."*_

_*"Still, it doesn't have to mean that I love her, right?"*_ Aoshi defended himself.

_*"True. But you never know, Okashira. Sometimes, one can never be certain about one's feelings until something important happens,"*_ Hannya advised.

_*"I'll keep your words in mind._ _For now, I think I'll retire for the night. Oyasumi."*_ Aoshi got up on his feet and opened the door, walking out.

His four friends looked at each other when he was gone.

_*"You don't really think that do you, Beshimi?"*_ Hyottoko asked him.

_*"I do. I've never seen Okashira like this before. He used to be completely cold, but it seems like he's been lightening up ever since that girl showed up."*_

_*"I noticed it too,"* _Hannya added. "_Aoshi-sama seems to care alot about the girl, although he'll probably never admit it."_

_*"True. It's in his eyes. But he keeps all his emotions to himself so it's really hard to tell."*_

The four of them stared at the closed door which Aoshi had just left through.

_*"Let's hope he finds his true feelings soon."*_

  
Aoshi opened the door gently, trying his best not to wake Cao up--if she was asleep. He smiled to himself when he realised that she was--sprawled under the blanket, mouth open, being the most loveable sight he had ever seen. Unable to control himself, he bent down beside her, savouring her presence. _If what Beshimi said was true...but it can't be, right?_

He stayed by her side for a while more, watching her sleep. Then, unable to control himself anymore, he leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek, before finally walking over to his desk. She barely stirred, and he smiled again at that. Then, settling himself in the chair, he laid his head on the table and closed his eyes.

***

Cao's eyes suddenly flew open, and for the second time that day, she sat up with a start, rapidly recalling where she was and what had happened, and of course, the dream she had just woken up from._ I don't believe I dreamt that he kissed me!_

Outside, the sky was pitch black, and she guessed that it was around midnight--or one in the morning, going by Tokyo time, which had been used ever since the Japanese had taken over.

She heard the steady breathing of another person in the room, and immediately looked over in the direction where it came from; and then smiled when she saw Aoshi's lean, muscular figure sprawled at his desk, head resting on his arm.

_He must be cold..._it was cooler than usual after the rain, and the wind was rather strong at night. Not being able to rest until she was sure he was warm, she got out of the futon as silently as possible, reached for the uniform jacket he had covered her with earlier on, and tiptoed over to him. She then placed the jacket over his back.

As she was about to return to bed, he suddenly murmured something in Japanese. Turning back, she was shocked to see how tormented his face was.

_*"Ore ga hanarerarenaide yo!"* _(Note: I don't know if this is correct way to say it :[Don't leave me!]) Unable to understand what he was saying, she could only stay by his side and whisper, softly, "Don't worry, I'm here..." To her surprise, his expression relaxed into one of peace after that.

He looked so innocent and so...young when he was asleep. If she did not know beforehand, she would never have guessed that this man was an officer--one who had seen much bloodshed and who had probably caused much bloodshed as well. For now, he just looked like an innocent boy who had never seen the harshness of the world.

She thought about her dream again. _It's definitely a dream, he can't have really kissed me right?_ But she decided that regardless of whether that kiss was real or not, she would return it._ But will he wake up?_ Not wanting to take the risk of doing so, she gently placed a kiss on his hair, where he was less likely to feel it and therefore be woken up.

"Sweet dreams, Aoshi, and goodnight," she whispered to him, before adding under her breath, "Thank you...and I love you." Contented, she walked back to the futon, lay down and pulled the blanket over herself.

***

The first rays of sunlight streamed through the window, casting a warm glow over Cao's face. Aoshi, who had been awake long before that as usual, could not help but notice how that golden glow on her sleeping face made her look almost immortal--like a fairy bathed in sunlight.

As he watched, her eyes slowly fluttered open and awareness returned to her pupils.

"Good morning, Cao."

She stood up and stretched, greeting him back at the same time. "Good morning Aoshi." Turning to him, she noticed that he was already in full uniform. He handed her her clothes, which were already dry by then. "Get yourself ready. We'll be leaving soon." With that, he walked out of the room to give her privacy.

Cao rummaged in her trouser pockets until she found the small comb and mirror which she always brought with her. Changing her clothes quickly, she brushed her hair and rebraided it. Then, she opened the door of the room.

Aoshi was talking to someone--no, four people, all in the khaki colored uniform of lower-rank soldiers. One of them wore a mask, another was unusually small sized. The third was huge and muscular, while the fourth and last one was also quite big sized and a bit on the plump side. They all turned toward her.

"Cao, I'd like you to meet my friends. Hannya, Beshimi, Shikijou and Hyottoko." He introduced them one by one. They all bowed politely. Cao smiled at them. "Hi, nice to meet you."

"Our leader tells us about you often," Beshimi started. Aoshi shot him a warning glance, which Cao was too busy blushing to notice.

"You must be hungry, Cao. Let's get some breakfast before we take you home." Aoshi changed the subject before his four friends could 'inevitably' reveal more than what he wanted her to know.

She nodded shyly, and they went off.

While they walked and even as they ate, Cao got to know Aoshi's four friends better. She noticed that Aoshi was more or less the undisputed leader of their gang, and his friends seldom argues with him. Why, she guessed that it was perhaps because he was older, or that his rank was higher. But in no time, the four proved to be good company, injecting humor (and sometimes lewd jokes) to conversations and offsetting Aoshi's seriousness and aloofness. They were like kindred spirits, and Cao found herself learning more about the culture and lives of the people who had invaded and taken over her country barely two months before. She was astonished to learn that not all of the soldiers had joined the military willingly, and that there were quite a number of young men, barely out of their childhood, who had been brainwashed into joining the Japanese military by their teachers.

The more she learnt, the more she realized that she and her fellow citizens were not the only victims of war. But at the same time, she was also impressed by Aoshi and his friends' patriotism. She realised that they would do anything for their country and emperor--but all the same, she sensed their displeasure at the way so many of their fellow soldiers treated the local people. 

Then, it was all over and Aoshi was escorting her up the stairs of the shophouse, while the other four stayed in the car as a large group of soldiers with a young girl would definitely attract alot of unwanted attention.

Lao Die flung open the door just after one knock, and was stunned, but nonetheless relieved to see his adopted granddaughter safe though a little worse for wear. 

"Xiao Cao! You're back! We were so worried, especially when a soldier dropped by and told us you were at the military barracks. We nearly thought you had been kidnapped and taken away by..." It was then that he noticed Aoshi. Bowing once, perhaps more out of fear than anything else, he spoke to Aoshi

"Are you Major Shinomori who saved my granddaughter on the streets and took care of her?" There was only politeness, and nothing else. By then, Jin and Zeng had also come to the door.

When Aoshi replied affirmatively, Lao Die continued. "Thank you then, I'm sorry if she has been any trouble."

"She hasn't been any trouble at all."

"We still owe you something in return. I can sense that you're a good man. If you ever need any help, you can come to us and we'll try our best to help you," Lao Die replied.

"I'll keep that in mind." He turned to leave, but stopped and turned back again.

"I'll be more than willing to help you too if you ever need it." Somehow, Cao sensed that these words were directed to her, and she blushed again, thinking about how Aoshi had told her to tell any other soldier who caused trouble for her that she was his woman.

"Xiao Cao, we're so glad that you're home," Zeng and Jin hugged her so tightly she nearly couldn't breathe.

"He didn't do anything to you did he?" Cao shook her head.

"You know, it seems as if you're quite friendly with him. Didn't he escort you home too the other day?" Jin asked, suddenly remembering.

"Yes but..."

"Cao, I know he probably doesn't mean any harm, but maybe you shouldn't be hanging around with him so often. Tongues are going to wag...besides, nobody will want to marry a girl who has been linked to a soldier."

"I don't intend to marry anyway. If he really loved me he wouldn't care who I hung around with."

"That's not the point. I'm advising you as your older sister--the less you're seen with him, the better. Quite a few people have been taken away by soldiers to God knows where in the past few days, and they haven't been heard from again. Many people are saying that of those taken away, the majority were members of the underground resistance or just anti-Japanese. They say that there is a spy or informer at work--don't let them think it is you, or any of us."

"I didn't tell Aoshi anything!"

Jin placed a hand on her soldier. "Tell me truthfully, Cao, what is your relationship with this...this Aoshi?"

"We're just friends...acquaintances."

"Cao, I watched you grow up, and I can tell that your feelings for him are more than that."

Not knowing what to say, Cao lowered her head.

"I wouldn't mind if he was anyone else but...but a soldier! No matter how good he is, it still won't be good in the long run. Stay away from him as much as possible."

"Why do you and Xiao Xun keep telling me the same thing? There's nothing between he and I now, but if we were meant to be together we will be, and nothing's going to stop us!"

"We tell you this because we care, Xiao Cao. And Xiao Xun was pretty upset when she came over just now, she thinks its her fault that you ran out of the clinic. I think you'd better go over and see her as soon as possible," Zeng replied.

Without warning, the door suddenly flew open, and all four occupants looked up, stunned, as Xiao Xun burst in.

"Xiao Cao, you've got to help," Xiao Xun sobbed uncontrollably. "Just now, some soldiers just burst into the clinic and took Dr. Hui away!"

tbc...

Thanks to Ume no Hana for providing the information about teachers brainwashing kids into wanting to join the military.  
I hope everything I wrote here was accurate!  
Well, it's back to school this coming wk :( But rest assured, I'll try to update this fic regularly (say, once a week?)  
Till the next chapter, Happy New Year!  
P.S: I can't help telling you this little so-called 'spoiler'-- Cao's name isn't going to stay 'Cao' for long in this fic, sooner or later it's going to revert to Misao...stay tuned to find out why


	7. A Friend in Trouble

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. _

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Shiro: Ah Bai  
Kuro: Ah Hei  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Tsubame: Yan-er   
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 6: A Friend in Danger

Cao was stunned still, as Xiao Xun collapsed to the floor, sobbing. "That Guan Liu whom she was talking to yesterday--he...he made it seem like he was a member of the underground anti-Japanese resistance. Dr. Hui was fooled by him...she let slip to him that she treated the wounds of some of the anti-Japanese fighters...the Kempei found out about it--I think it's Guan Liu, he's an informer, I know it's him! He told on Dr. Hui and now she's been arrested--for collaborating with resistance fighters! !"

"In these times, the truth is that no one can be trusted..." Lao Die voiced out his thoughts. 

Zeng shook her head. "Poor Hui...I hope she stays strong enough to survive this."

"If she even survives, it will be a miracle. You don't know what they do to those whom they see to be collaborating with the anti-Japanese forces. If only there was any way to get her out..."

Like a flash of lightning, an idea struck Cao. _"If you ever need any help, you can come to me."_ Aoshi had told her that, not once but twice. Would he be willing to help this time? It would be difficult to get Dr. Hui off the hook, after all aiding the resistance was a huge offence. But she would do anything to help her friend--anything to save a life.

_I won't know if he will help unless I try!_ She grabbed Xiao Xun's arm and ran down the stairs. "Let's go! I think I know a way!"

***

"_Shinomori-sama, here are the files on the person you were looking for information about."_ Aoshi looked up at the junior Kempeitai officer who had handed him the files.

"_Thank you, Kawada."_ He scanned through the information. "_A Formosa-born arms dealer. So, you say he has infiltrated the underground resistance?"_

_"Yes, and he has been providing information about them. But..."_

_"But what?"_ Aoshi looked at him straight in the eye. _"Tell me everything!"_

_"There have been reports that he is a double agent...he's been telling the resistance some of our military secrets as well. Not only that..."_

Aoshi looked at him with piercing eyes, waiting for him to finish his sentence. _"We have evidence to prove that he's providing arms to the resistance as well. And we're still investigating reports that he has been smuggling opium here from Thailand, and been selling them on the black market."_

_"And probably those reports are true too. I have been suspicious of him for some time._" His eyes narrowed. Then, he realised that Kawada was still in the office. "_You may go."_

He then glared at the photo--one of a thin man with a centre parting and small, sneaky eyes, spectacles resting on the nose. "Takeda Kanryuu...I'll get to the bottom of this. And when I do, you are not going to be let off so easily."

***

They were stopped by the sentry just outside the barracks.

"What do you want?" He asked them roughly. Cao took a deep breath. "I'd like to look for Major Shinomori."

"What is your relation to him?"

Xiao Xun was looking at her in anticipation. Cao took another deep breath, remembering what Aoshi had told her to say.

"I'm his woman, and I have something very important to tell him about."

To her surprise, the sentry laughed. "So you're Shinomori's woman, the one everyone has been talking about--the one whom he brought back with him last night. Good luck, finally somebody has managed to prove that that iceberg is really a man after all." Cao glanced at Xiao Xun, whose eyes were so wide in surprise that they looked like...like roti prata! [local Indian delicacy, a flat round piece of fried dough, eaten with curry.]

"Major Shinomori isn't here, he is at his office in the Kempeitai East District Branch." He gave her directions. "Mustn't have been easy huh, getting him to open up."

As they made their way to the office, which wasn't that far away, Xiao Xun asked Cao nervously, "What was that about? You didn't really...you-know-what with him did you?"

"Don't worry, I'm not really his woman, it was just what he told me to tell them. It does work wonders, doesn't it?"

"But what about that part...about him bringing you back with him." Xiao Xun was still concerned.

"Don't worry, we didn't do anything! It was raining and I kind of fainted...he found me and brought me back. As it rained the whole night, he brought me back only today."

Xiao Xun thought for a while. "He doesn't seem that bad after all--either he's really that much of a honorable 'samurai' or he's gay."

Cao shot her a glare. "He's _not_ gay!"

"And how do you know that?"

Not knowing how to answer, Cao blushed again. "Well, I just know."

By then, they had reached their destination. Cao asked a young soldier standing guard at the entrance for directions to Aoshi's office, giving the same explanation that she was his woman and had something important to tell him. The guard gave her simple directions, and soon the two girls found themselves outside the door to Aoshi's office. There were some words in kanji on the door--Aoshi's title and his name.

She knocked.

"_Haitte,"_ [Come in] Aoshi's familiar voice said. Cao hesitated, not understanding the command. A few seconds later, the gingerly pushed open the door and walked in, with Xiao Xun following behind uncertainly.

He was bent over his table, poring over a file, barely looking up even as she approached him. His dark green uniform cap lay on the table.

_"Nani yo? Hayaku!"_ he growled.

"A-Aoshi..." 

He finally looked up, surprised to hear her voice. "Cao? What are you doing here?"

She couldn't bear it anymore, and started to cry, blurting everything out. "You said I could come to you for help if I ever needed it," she sobbed at the end. "Dr. Hui doesn't deserve this...it was only her duty to save lives! It's the duty of any doctor to do so!"

To his utter astonishment, she actually kneeled down to him. "Major Shinomori, please help Dr. Hui! I'll do anything...as long as you save her. Take it that I'm begging you..." Her friend joined in the kneeling.

Aoshi couldn't bear to see Cao like this. He didn't like the sight of the girl he cared for, kneeling down and begging him. He stood up from his chair.

"I'll try my best."

Her eyes lighted up almost at once. "Really? Thank you so much!" On impulse, she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. His body stiffened, unused to being touched so intimately. At once, Cao realised what she was doing--and remembered that Xiao Xun was in the office as well. Blushing deeply, she let go of him and stepped away, not daring to meet his eyes.

_Cao, you idiot! How could you have done that?_ She had never felt so embarrassed in her life. Hugging a man like this...who was neither her brother, boyfriend, fiancé or husband...wasn't exactly proper either.

An awkward pause.

"Who was that man whom you think told on your friend?" Aoshi asked, breaking the silence.

"Guan Liu. Wutian Guan Liu," Xiao Xun told him.

Aoshi's eyes narrowed at once. _So it was you again, harming innocent people to earn our trust._ He flipped the pages in the folder to one that had a photograph on it, and showed it to them. "Is this him?"

They nodded, looking surprised. He met Cao's questioning gaze.

"He's a suspected double agent and provides weapons to both the military and the underground resistance. he's also a drug smuggler. He's known to us as Takeda Kanryuu. Wutian Guan Liu is just the Mandarin reading of his name."

"But since he's committed so many crimes, why doesn't the police arrest him?" Cao asked.

"They don't have enough evidence yet. Besides, he also has the backing of an influential general. Without enough evidence, he cannot be arrested."

Then, his eyes softened as he changed the subject again. "I'll find out more about your friend...Dr. Gaohe Hui right? She's probably under interrogation now." He noticed the worried look in both girls' eyes. "They won't deal with her too severely."

After they left the office, Xiao Xun turned to Cao. "Wow, he's really not as fierce as I thought he would be. But he seems rather...cold."

"He doesn't like to talk much," Cao told her. "By the way, I'm sorry about yelling at you yesterday..."

"It's okay. I shouldn't have been so harsh anyway. I guess I shouldn't have said that Aoshi was just like any other soldier. He is nice after all." Xiao Xun smiled at Cao. "Go for him! You two look good together. And he does seem to have a soft spot for you...although you should work harder to get him to soften a little when you hug him," she added mischievously. Cao glared at her, but blushed a little, feeling pleased inside. At least she now had her best friend's support.

A mischievous look then came into her eyes. "What about you and Jian Xin? Maybe you should get him to _harden_ a bit when you hug him..."

It was Xiao Xun's turn to blush. "Cao, I'm shocked! But Jian Xin isn't that bad anyway..." Her eyes glazed over. "Such a gentleman..." She suddenly remembered something. "Cao, you _must_ attend my wedding next Wednesday...it's no grand affair because--well, you know--but I still want you to be there."

Wednesday was just around five days away. "Don't worry, I will be. But it's so soon too...you'll be a grown up woman and I'll still be a little girl," Cao sighed.

"When I think of it, it's rather scary too. It's like I have to grow up all of a sudden, and be someone's wife. I don't feel ready for it, although Jian Xin's just about the nicest man." She blushed again. "Okay, I know he does seem kind of sissy sometimes but most of the time, he's just really sweet. I can't wait for you to meet him."

"I will--on your wedding day!" Cao smiled, but she couldn't help but sigh as she thought or Dr. Hui, being interrogated by the Kempeitai. The word 'interrogated' definitely did not give any clue to the brutal torture that the 'secret police' used to extract a confession from their victims. Some, unable to endure the vicious tortures inflicted on them, confessed to their alleged crimes, whether they really did it or not, and were either thrown into jail or executed, depending on the gravity of the crime. Others who were stubborn enough not to confess had to bear with more torture which included the infamous water treatment (where water was pumped into the victim's body nonstop). This would stop only when or if 1) the victim died, 2) the victim confessed, 3) a relation or friend of the victim bribed the officer in charge of the case and even then, it relied on the officer's willingness to accept the bribe or 4) a high-ranking officer or important personality who had connections with the military interceded for the victim. It was no wonder that Cao was worried, after hearing all the stories which had been circulating on the streets and in the clinic, each one more horrendous than the other.

Guessing what her friend was thinking about, Xiao Xun squeezed her hand, trying to comfort her. "Don't worry, Dr. Hui has done so many good deeds, having saved so many people. Heaven will help her, and all those like her."

"Let's hope so. " Cao looked up at the sky, eyes filling with tears, silently begging for Guanyin the Goddess of Mercy to protect Dr. Hui.

***

_Wednesday_

Although a wedding usually called for a big celebration, this was not so for the ones held during the war.

Xiao Xun and Jian Xin's wedding was no exception. Apart from family and a few close friends, no one else attended. The Japanese had forbidden people from congregating.

There was a sense of gloom and darkness in the air even as the bride stepped out of her room in her bright red intricately embroidered wedding gown, the mood a far cry from the gaily coloured wedding finery , reminiscent of happier times not so long ago. 

If the wedding had taken place just before the Japanese took over, the groom would have at least been able to fetch the bride to his house on a bicycle. Far cry from the weddings of earlier days though it was, it was still one of the customary rituals. However, now even that was gone as Xiao Xun's parents feared that she would be taken away by the soldiers while on her way to Jian Xin's house, and the wedding ceremony was simplified to the barest necessities.

Cao stood near the altar, wearing her best cheongsam and watched as her best friend, together with the groom who was dressed in a simple Chinese suit, took the customary three bows to heaven and earth, to Xiao Xun's parents (as Jian Xin's parents were deceased, they bowed to their altar tablets instead) and to each other, all in front of the two lighted candles on the altar. 

Even the tea to be offered to the elders were leftovers from better days, watered down so that there would be enough. Xiao Xun, eyes lowered shyly under her red veil, kneeled down beside her new husband and took the tiny teacups from the tray held by a younger relative, offering it to first her grandparents, then her parents, and finally her aunts and uncles, all in a show of respect and filial piety. And then it was over. She then headed into her room to change into simpler men's clothes, tucking her hair up into a cap and picking up a bag full of her belongings, ready for the long walk to Jian Xin's house.

The two girls met at the door. Cao realised through her teary eyes that her best friend was weeping too, and they hugged each other.

"Please take care of yourself," Xiao Xun begged Cao.

"You too, Mrs. Feicun," Cao replied, using Jian Xin's surname. 

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her," Jian Xin, who had been standing beside Xiao Xun all along, reassured Cao.

And then they walked out of the door, not looking back.

-------

She was surprised to see Aoshi, in plain clothes, waiting for her outside the shophouse when she came back. But before she could open her mouth to ask, he forestalled her. 

"I have news about your friend. She confessed and is now in jail at Changi Prison." Then, he noticed the way she was dressed. "Was there a wedding or something?"

She nodded. "My friend--the one who was with me the other day--just got married."

He nodded. "She seems a little young..."

"Not really. I'm younger than her and my family wants to marry me off too." Aoshi raised his eyebrows. "Not that I want to. They haven't found a match which I agree with--and they never will," she continued. "Anyway, about Dr. Hui..."

"Your doctor friend...as she confessed quite soon, there wasn't much harm inflicted on her. But she still insists that she did not wrong."

"Can I see her?"

"I was just about to take you there. Go up and change--I'll wait here."

Cao scurried up the stairs as fast as she could, thanking the Goddess of Mercy with every step she took. Rushing into her room and changing into her everyday clothes hurriedly, she zoomed out of the house again, yelling out to Jin in the kitchen that there had been news about Dr. Hui and she was going to see her.

Aoshi was waiting as he promised, and he led her to his car, not saying a word.

_Oh, please let Dr. Hui be okay..._Cao begged silently to no one in particular. It seemed like a long time, and even as she watched the trees and houses practically fly by, she still wished that they could travel at the speed of light, then she would be able to see Dr. Hui immediately.

And then, at last they were there. Aoshi escorted her into the prison, flashing his military pass to the guards at certain points. Cao noticed that they all greeted him with bows, though of varying depth. The lower the rank, the lower the bow and the longer it was held.

Hand on her back, he guided her through the maze of cells, some empty, many with prisoners staring out at them. At last, they stopped in front of one.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while. You have five minutes." With that, he turned and disappeared into the darkness of a corner.

Cao's eyes filled with tears again at the sight of a forlorn figure, crumpled on the floor of the cell, clothes dirty and torn in certain places.

"Dr. Hui! Dr. Hui!" she cried out softly. The figure stirred and clambered up laboriously, turning to look at her.

"Xiao Cao? What are you doing here?" Dr. Hui asked weakly. She looked tired, as if she had not slept in days (which she probably hadn't) and her hair and face, once well-groomed and vibrant, was now bedraggled and pale, with dark eye bags and scratches and bruises.

"A friend brought me here. Dr. Hui, you--you--" Cao couldn't control herself anymore and wept. Dr. Hui reached out between the bars and took her hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. They can't do anything to me...it was only a doctor's duty to help the injured...after all I treated their soldiers too and some of my ex-patients spoke up for me. " 

Somehow, Cao guessed that it was probably Aoshi, working behind the scenes again. She made a mental note to thank him later.

"I, Gaohe Hui, will not die so easily. Don't worry Cao, just take care of yourself." The doctor petted her hand. "The clinic--find my friend Boon Tat, he's a medical student and will be able to help. Even if I'm not there the sick and injured still need help."

"Dr. Hui..." Cao was impressed. _Even at a time like this when her life is in danger, she still cares more about her patients than herself._

"Just do it." Dr. Hui gave her a determined smile. It was then that Aoshi stepped out of the shadows. 

"Your time is up. We have to go now." Cao stood up, unwilling to leave.

"Go on. I'll be alright," Dr. Hui assured her again. They looked at each other tearfully for a while, until Aoshi placed a hand on Cao's shoulder and led her out.

Unknown to them, Aoshi had heard every single word of their conversation, and had been silently awed by Hui's brave, selfless words as well.

_Such a dedicated doctor is hard to come by. She should not be wasting time behind bars. I must try to get her out as soon as possible...she is an asset to us. Besides, it will make my little Cao here happy. _Having decided on that, Aoshi began planning ways to convince the general in charge of the case to release the doctor.

tbc......

Notes: 1) I made Kanryuu/ Guan Liu a Formosan (Taiwanese) as Formosans in Singapore at that time were seen as spies of the Japanese, and many of them were. Taiwan, unlike Singapore, had been under the Japanese for a much, much longer time, and their people accepted Japanese rule without much resistance or hostility. (Don't remember which source I got this information from, perhaps it was "The Price of Peace") As a result, Formosans could speak fluent Japanese and many of those in Singapore began working for the Japanese as informers and translators, regarded more highly than the other Chinese in Singapore by the Japanese rulers. A well-known Formosan was Wee Twee Kim, who acted as a translator and informant for the Kempeitai and posed as the 'friend and protector of the China-born Chinese". [_When Singapore was Syonan-To_ by N.I Low and_ Syonan: My Story_ by Shinozaki Mamoru]. Many of the Formosans did not even need to change their names, just the pronunciation of them. A Lim Peh San ( Lin Bai Shan) could become "Hayashi Shiroyama" and nobody would know the difference. This 'name change' was reversed at the end of the war, and was how many of the Formosans silently 'melted away' to escape the wrath of the people. (Again, this info is from _When Singapore was Syonan-to)_

2)Information about weddings during the war from http://ourstory.asia1.com.sg/war/ref/wedding.html.

Happy New Year mina-san, and thanks for reading!


	8. The Fiance

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. _

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Tsubame: Yan-er   
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Sanosuke: Zuo Zhi Zhu/ Xiangle( Xiangle is 'Sagara' while Zuo Zhi Zhu translates to 'Sanosuke')  
Soujiro: Zong Cilang  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 7: The Fiance

Cao looked upward at the number outside the entrance to the shophouse. She double checked it with the address that she had found in Dr. Hui's records, and on confirming that it was indeed the address which she had copied down on the slip of paper, she raised her hand up, hesitating for a moment before knocking tentatively on the wooden door. For a while, she nearly thought that there was nobody in, but there was soon the shuffling sound of footsteps. Then, there was the sound of the door being unlatched, and the door opened a little.

"Who are you?" the owner of the face asked gruffly. His chin was rough with bristly stubble, and there was something unwelcoming about his eyes. His hair was spiky looking, as if he had purposely combed it upwards.

"I-I-I-I'm Juandian Cao and I'm looking for a...Lim Boon Tat..." Cao stammered. 

The man opened the door a little wider. "What do you want him for?"

"His teacher... Dr. Gaohe Hui has been imprisoned. She sent me to find him so that he could continue running her clinic."

"Boon Tat has disappeared," the man growled. "Vanished during the mass screening. Don't know what the devils did with him. Told him he shouldn't have hung around with the anti-Japs."

Cao lowered her eyes. "B-but the doctor needs someone to take over."

"Tell you what. I'll help."

Cao was startled. "You?" she exclaimed in astonishment. 

The man shrugged. "Why not? Don't look at me like this. I'm also a doctor. Don't believe me? Let me find my certificate."

"Um, it's okay, I'll just take your word for it. You are..." No matter how hard Cao looked at him, he still didn't look like a doctor to her, more like one of the secret society gangsters.

"Zuo Zhi Zhu. Just call me Xiang Le, it's what just about everyone calls me." He swaggered back into the house, before remembering that Cao was still standing at the door.

"Go on home, _xiao jie_ [young miss, Mandarin equivalent to the Cantonese 'siew cheh']. I'll be at the clinic tomorrow early in the morning."

As Cao walked down the street back home, she marveled over how deceiving appearances could be. Though Xiangle had the appearance and manner of a gangster, he turned out to be a qualified doctor. Guan Liu, or Kanryuu, had seemed to be so dignified, but had turned out to be a traitor--a double agent. And Aoshi...he was where appearances were the most deceiving so far. She remembered how frightened she had been the first time she saw him at Bukit Timah, thinking that he was just like what the rumours had said about the Japanese army--ruthless, inhuman, cold-blooded murderers. But as she got to know him better, she had realised that he was a good man, an exception to the stereotypes. He had seemed cold and unemotional the first few times, but now he was starting to warm up to her and open up, and she had seen a side of him she had never guessed he had. Although he was still rather reserved at times, at least it was an improvement...

***

When Cao stepped into the living room, practically the whole family was there, sitting and waiting for her with serious looks on their faces.

"What's the big occasion?" she asked out loud, astonished. It was then that she saw the smiling young man at the corner. His eyes lit up and his grin widened when he caught sight of her.

"This is Zong Cilang," Zeng introduced. "Your fiancé."

Cao stopped in her tracks, halfway to the centre of the room. Her face went a few shades paler, until it was a ghostly white. _Fiance?!_ She opened her mouth several times, but no sound came out.

"You have no idea how hard it was to find a man we thought you'd be happy with!" Lao Die cut in. "Young master Zong here is the closest to your age we could find; he's eighteen this year. And you two seem to have a lot in common."

"Good afternoon, Cao _xiao jie_. I hope we'll get to know each other well," Cilang spoke. Cao remained where she was, still trying to get over the shock. If this had occurred before she met Aoshi, she would have been delighted, and returned Cilang's smile with one of her own, as well as with blushing cheeks. But it was different now, and she could not imagine being with anyone else but the one in her heart--Aoshi.

The entire house was silent, waiting for her response. Cao thought she saw her fiance's smile falter for a moment, but she was not sure, for when she looked again it was as broad and attention-grabbing as it had been from the moment she stepped into the house.

_I guess I'd better say something before the atmosphere gets too uncomfortable..._She quickly regained her composure and made her way towards them. "Good afternoon...I'm pleased to meet you too." She didn't know what else to say, any more words and her opinion of all this would come tumbling out, causing unnecessary embarrassment for both her family and 'Young Master Zong'. Besides, he seemed like such a nice guy, an outright rejection of the engagement could hurt his feelings, especially if the third party involved happened to be, of all the men in the world, a Japanese officer.

"What's wrong, Xiao Cao? You look a little pale." Jin was concerned. Cao took a deep breath.

"I'm okay, it's just that I had a tiring day and I'm kind of...tired," she lied. "And this was kind of unexpected." 

"Why don't you rest for a while first? You and Master Zong can have a chat at the same time, I'm sure you won't be too tired for that, right?" Jin asked. "After all, the wedding's going to take place less than a week from now..."

Cao's face turned even paler, somehow taking on the colour of the white walls. She looked down, not wanting the others to see the alarm and panic that manifested themselves in her eyes. Apparently, Lao Die took this as a sign of bashful pleasure.

"Look, our Cao is so pleased with it! Look at her, her eyes are lowered. That settles it then, it will be the next auspicious day--next Monday!"

Cao's fists clenched so hard that her knuckles turned white. Next Monday! It was way too soon! She looked up again. "Lao Die, I'm afraid...I'm not really ready to be married yet..." she protested weakly.

"Don't worry, you'll be more than ready when the time comes," he laughed. "Marriage is a big thing and it's natural for you to be unsure about it. but it's for your own good, and Master Zong here is a good man."

"I'll take care of her, don't you worry, Uncle," Cilang reassured. By then, Cao was beginning to be irritated by his unceasing smile. _Doesn't he ever stop smiling? If I can't stand it now how am I supposed to when we're married?_

"Good then. I think we'd better leave the two of you alone to get to know each other," Lao die replied, standing up. Jin and Zeng followed. "Have a nice chat."

And at last, Cilang and Cao were alone in the living room, the others having made themselves scarce. Cao felt even more uneasy than ever; all she did was look down at her hands and fidget, partly because she was shy about being alone with him and partly because she thought she would throw up if she saw that smile on his face one more time.

Silence. Neither of them said a word.

"Do you always smile like that?" Cao blurted out, unable to stand it. She regretted it instantly when a hurt look crossed his face for a moment. "I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be. It's about time someone asked." He touched her shoulder reassuringly, before swiftly drawing back. "A lot of people think I'm fake and unnatural because I smile all a time, like a lunatic or something. But I can't help it."

This time, Cao looked up curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if you'll want to hear it..."

"I do."

"Okay." He looked down at the floor for a while. "I'm an orphan. I lived with my aunt and uncle and their family until I was about eight years old. They weren't...exactly the kindest people. They would hit me and beat me really hard, and punish me for the slightest things. Once, I accidentally spilled a sack of rice--they beat me till I nearly fainted, and made me kneel outside the house, even when it rained...The more I cried, the more they'd get irritated, and the harder they'd beat me.." He paused. Cao was listening intently.

"In order to bear the pain, I tried to ignore it...I'd think of other happier things. And if I smiled, they'd give up and stop beating me, and that would cut down the pain I had to endure. And so, no matter how painfully they beat me, nothing would happen as long as I had a smile on my face." he looked down at his lap.

"So...after some time, you unknowingly did the same whenever you were afraid, or irritated...to hide your feelings?" Cao asked him, realising that he and Aoshi were similar in that sense--they both hid their feelings behind a mask. The only difference was that while Cilang's 'mask' was one with a smile, Aoshi's was plain emotionless.

Cilang nodded. "You can say that. I'm sorry if you find it irritating."

"No, it's ok." He looked up at her. "You seemed quite shocked to hear of our engagement."

"I just...wasn't expecting it." Cao cast her eyes away, wondering if she should just let him know the truth. "It's kind of scary, getting engaged and then married so young..."

"I understand." 

"I didn't really want to get married, but I guess I have to some day or other so why not now, then..." _But if only it was to _the_ one...Him._

"Cao, I hope you don't mind me asking..." 

Cao looked at him questioningly.

"Do you have anyone you love? Just tell me, I'll be able to take it."

His words struck through her, and she dared not look at him, for fear that he would see through her. She wasn't sure if she should tell him, after all, it wasn't exactly mutual love between her and Aoshi. True, she did have someone else in her heart, but her mind had told her over and over again that it wouldn't work out, that she and Aoshi would never be. However, there still was a meagre hope...a tiny ray, which probably would not amount to much...Even so, she still wanted to treasure that little precious ray.

Yet...the hopelessness she felt, together with that little nagging voice they called common sense, told her that she should not be wasting her time longing for the near impossible, and that she should be a filial, obliging granddaughter and marry the one her family had chosen for her.

He noticed her uneasiness, and decided not to pursue the subject further. "Never mind, it's just a question. I just don't want you to force yourself to marry me or anything. Anyway, your sisters tell me you help out at a clinic. Are you training to be a nurse or something?"

She was visibly relieved at the change of subject. "Not really, I just help clean wounds and apply bandages. What about you?"

"I'm a photographer's apprentice." He didn't say any more, and she decided not to prod further. The both of them sat together awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

"Zong _xiansheng,_ it's getting dark. I think you'd better get home before the curfew," Lao Die interrupted, walking into the hall. Cilang looked out of the window. "

"Yes, it's getting dark." He turned to Cao. "It's been a pleasure meeting you. I guess I'd better make a move now."

"How was he?" Zeng asked Cao after Cilang had left. Cao didn't reply.

"Cao? Are you okay?" Zeng noticed that she was staring aimlessly out of the window, and waved a hand in front of her. The younger girl snapped back into attention. 

"Huh? Oh, he's okay...nice." Cao looked down at her hands. "But...it's just that..."

"Just that what?" 

"Nothing." Her heart felt empty, and she somehow just wanted to cry. _Aoshi, I'm sorry...but I can't possibly go against the wishes of my family, if it's what they want..._

"You're still thinking of him, aren't you?" Zeng asked, sitting beside Cao on her bed. "About your officer savior..."

Cao nodded.

"I'm not trying to force you to stay away from him, but you've known him for...just a little over a month! You don't really know him..."

"Well, at least I've known him for much longer than I've known Master Zong."

"Cao, I know you don't want to marry Master Zong. But being with him is better than being the kept woman of a Japanese soldier! At least we know Master Zong's background, and it can be verified; but Aoshi's background is a mystery, he can tell you anything and there's no way to tell if it's true!" She sighed. " I know I can't make you listen, but I--we just don't want you to get hurt. If you and Aoshi do...get together...and one day it fails, then ultimately you're the one who suffers the most."

"I know that," Cao told her, "But I don't care, as long as Aoshi and I have a chance to be together, I don't care what happens. I know he's a good man, I just feel it."

"Feelings can be wrong sometimes." Zeng stood up. "I'm not going to stop you; you know what's right. I just think you'd be better off with Master Zong." Her face was sad. "Think it over, but if you do choose to be with Aoshi, please be careful."

And she walked out of the room, leaving Cao to ponder over her words.

---

A knock on the door.

Aoshi looked up, closing the folder in front of him. "_Haitte_."

The door opened and a dark, lanky man walked in.

"_Detective...I've been waiting for information from you,"_ Aoshi crossed his arms. The man bowed, and handed him some papers before informing him of something in a low voice.

Aoshi scanned the papers, a grim look on his face. His teeth gritted. _Finally, a loophole..._

"_You say he'll be transporting the weapons to a hut in the north?_" he asked. The detective nodded. "_Then he's made a huge mistake this time, trusting whom he shouldn't."_

He scanned through the new documents again. "_You've done a good job this time. Continue keeping tabs."_ The man bowed. 

"_Arigatou Shinomori-sama."_

Aoshi nodded and waved him out, still trying to fit together the bits and pieces of information which he had gathered.

_"Takeda Kanryuu...I've got you this time!" _ He clenched his fists. Soon, the traitor would be brought to justice--and he, Shinomori Aoshi, would see to that.

tbc...

Sorry to keep everyone waiting! Guess i can't update as often as I thought (bows) Gomen nasai again! the first few weeks of school are always busy, and I can't seem to find the time or inspiration to update:( I'll try to put up the next chappie in another fortnight or earlier if possible. Somehow I feel that this chapter has no substance...  
The fic is reaching its turning point--stay tuned for more action in the next chapter! Just about every character in this fic has a part in how everything turns out.

As a note to those who asked...I'm not revealing who Boon Tat is at the moment...


	9. Burning Hearts

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. _

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Tsubame: Yan-er   
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Sanosuke: Zuo Zhi Zhu/ Xiangle( Xiangle is 'Sagara' while Zuo Zhi Zhu translates to 'Sanosuke')  
Soujiro: Zong Cilang  
Yu Ting Ban Zong: Oniwabanshuu(!)

Chapter 8: Burning Hearts

Cao stopped apprehensively outside Dr. Hui's clinic.

The clinic was open, and the lights inside were on. She hesitated for a while before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

The male doctor attending to a patient was a far cry from the untidy, rough thug she had met just the day before. Clean-shaven, dressed in a doctor's white coat, hair still spiky but not as messy as before, he looked up and grinned good-naturedly at her.

"Well, if it isn't the Weasel Girl..." he teased. 

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Don't call me that, Rooster Head! I wouldn't have thought you were a doctor, the way you acted yesterday."

"Ahh, what else did you expect me to do? You woke me up. Anyone would be irritated." He turned back to his patient. "Nice to see that I have at least one helper."

"Well, I decided to drop over just in case you accidentally killed a patient by mistake."

"Well, thanks for your concern. Help me clean his wound while I get the bandages." Xiang Le handed her a bottle of antiseptic. She took his place in front of the patient. 

"What happened?" The middle-aged man she was attending to had scratches on his limbs, a head injury, and a sprained ankle. It didn't look like he had been beaten up though.

"Slipped into a drain at night while trying to beat the curfew." Xiang Le walked back into the room.

"Uncle, you should be more careful at night, even if you're in a hurry," Cao told the man gently. He nodded. "I'll keep your advice in mind, _xiao jie_."

"Oi, Weasel Girl, when you're done help me get some cold water," Xiang Le instructed roughly. Cao stuck her tongue out at him again.

"I'm your helper, not your slave! *_Doctor* _Zuo, please get the water yourself."

"Guess who's commanding who?"

For the third time that day, Cao stuck her tongue out at him and went to the back of the clinic, where a pail of water stood. 

"You did boil the water didn't you?" she yelled at him. The water supplies had just come back on after being disrupted for some time, but the quality of water was a different story. Cao noted with relief that the water wasn't yellowish and foul-smelling like that that had come out of the taps for the past few days.

_*This guy knows what he's doing after all.*_ She transferred some of the water into a small basin and was just bringing it back into the doctor's office when the clinic doors suddenly slammed open. Curious and also a little fearful of whom it might be, Cao hurriedly put the basin down and ran out into the waiting room.

"Aoshi!" she gasped. He dragged in a soldier, covered with blood and bruises and moaning in pain.

"Found this guy on the streets. Treat him as fast as you can." He looked at her, and their eyes met briefly. In that moment, all her feelings for him returned, and all she wanted to do was run into his arms, and beg him to save her from her impending marriage...to take her away with him. But she restrained herself. Duty had to come first.

"Tend to the one in the room. I'll take care of this." Xiang Le had joined them. His words were firm, but Cao noticed the war his eyes pierced through the two soldiers with revulsion. This hatred disappeared as fast as it appeared, and before she knew it, he was helping Aoshi lift the injured soldier onto a nearby couch. 

Noticing that she was still standing there, Xiang Le motioned for her to get into the office where the first patient was waiting. She obliged and walked back into the room, unable to rid herself of the suspicion that there was more to the new doctor than met the eye.

---

_Later..._

"Aoshi!" 

She caught up with him just as he was leaving the clinic. He stopped and turned to her.

"I have to tell you something." Her face was serious. He wondered what the matter was, and gave her an inquiring gaze.

"I'm getting married next Monday." Her voice was emotionless, but her eyes were forlorn, almost pleading. 

"Oh." He didn't know what to say, but what did come out of his mouth did not betray the sudden stab that shot through his heart. He had gotten used to hiding his emotions behind an impassive facade, having done so for years. "I wish you all the best, then."

Their eyes locked for a few moments. Her disappointment was evident, and for a while, he thought she was going to cry. But she didn't, and finally composed herself. 

"Thank you for your blessing then." There was a note of resignation in her voice, and she turned away, if only to hide the fact that she was blinking back her tears. He wanted to pull her into his arms...to hug her, and tell her that she was his--that he wouldn't let her marry another.

But he didn't.

It would not be appropriate--not for a girl who was engaged to be married in a few days. And certainly not for an officer who could not show any sign of soft heart.

"That's it then. I just wanted you to know." Her voice did not betray any emotion, but inside, her heart felt so empty. Why didn't he stop her? After all that he had done, did he not have any feelings for her after all? She couldn't bear to look at him any more. One look and she would completely lose control of herself. She couldn't do so...not in public, not when she was about to be married. 

The pain in their hearts was unbearable, but neither sought to act on it. The uneasiness in the air grew, as they stood there, not looking at each other, neither one saying a word.

Finally, he broke the silence. "If there's nothing else, I'll take my leave." 

She nodded. 

The agony in his heart intensified as he walked away from her, knowing that it could be the last time he ever saw her again. From the next Monday onwards, she would belong to another, and would be lost to him forever. Nothing could hurt more than the thought of that. He tried to channel his mind to think of other things--the mission against Kanryuu...his duties...love was not supposed to have any part in his life. But somehow, it had sneaked in--undetected, unknowingly. And it now mattered more than almost anything else.

He, of all, should know how dangerous love was when a man had an important duty to perform. He had seen many of his counterparts, sacrificing status, wealth, and sometimes even their lives...all for love. Years ago, he had vowed never to love, and even if he did, he would pay no heed to it. But those were the thoughts of a boy, inexperienced in the ways of the world.

Now that he had felt it for himself, he realised how hard it was to let go of something he held so dear to his heart. Slowly, inadvertently, it had taken over his heart and engulfed him with its warmth, until it became almost like the air he breathed. It was as if he would not be able to survive without it.

And now, he was going to lose it forever.

He wished he had given in to his first instincts and prevented her from becoming another's. If only he had voiced his displeasure at it...if only he had showed his true feelings, perhaps she would have broken off the engagement. The pleading look in her eyes kept flashing back into his mind, refusing to go away. Had she told him because she hoped that he would save her from her upcoming marriage? That he would disallow it? That he would claim her as his before another did? It would explain the disappointment at his reaction, and he knew he had let her down.

But it was too late...or was it?

"_Aoshi-sama seems to be in a rather pensive mood today," _Hannya observed, his voice breaking into Aoshi's thoughts. _"Does it have anything to do with the girl?"_

Beshimi shrugged. _"I don't know...but they say that when a person loses his appetite and sleep, and is lost in thought most of the time, he is probably thinking of love."_

_"Women are always trouble,"_ Shikijou observed. _"It's a fact we have to live with._"

Aoshi knew they were talking as if he was not there in the hope that he would react. But he didn't feel like joining in their banter--not that night. There was too much on his mind.

"_I wonder what's wrong..." _Hyottoko glanced at him. _"It must be pretty serious, otherwise he wouldn't be acting so __miserable..."_

He couldn't stand it any more. They were his closest friends after all, and hardly kept anything from each other. 

"_She's getting married this Monday._" He didn't elaborate further. There was a pregnant pause, as his four friends looked at each other.

_"Aren't you going to stop her, Aoshi-sama?_" Hannya asked. Aoshi shook his head.

_"Why not? You have the power to do so...besides, if you really loved her..."_

_"Then I won't hurt her,"_ Aoshi abruptly ended the sentence for him. Another silent pause.

_"I wouldn't have guessed...she seemed to like you genuinely. Just by the way she looks at you, it's easy to see how much she loves you," _ Hyottoko commented. Again, Aoshi didn't reply.

_"Aoshi-sama, do think it over. If the two of you really love each other, nothing can come between you. I think you'd better do something before you lose her forever," _Hannya advised. 

_If you really love each other, nothing can come between you._ Aoshi pondered over those words even as he returned to his quarters. _I wish it was that simple_. Much as he wanted to disrupt the engagement and claim Cao as his, conscience reasoned against it. She was a young girl, innocent and carefree, and deserved a better man than him--him with his bloodstained hands and tainted past. There was also the social stigma--could she take the criticism? He didn't want to risk it...and he doubted that her family would approve either.

But the very memory of those pleading eyes caused him to have second thoughts about it.

_Are you sure that's what you want, Cao?_ She wouldn't be happy with him, he just knew it. She needed someone who would love her wholeheartedly, who would lavish attention on her--not someone like him, caught up in his own world and troubles, who could no longer show emotion...He couldn't be selfish. Not with her.

He tossed and turned in restless sleep that night.

----

She was staring out of window listlessly, just as she had been the whole day the day before. 

The scene had changed--once crowded and filled with all kinds of sights, smells and sounds, the street was now nearly deserted, save for a few people. There was a sense of resignation in the air that had never been there before as people gradually adjusted to being under Japanese rule. Life was returning to normal, yet still far from normal.

She still remembered the gay dresses of the European women as they went to and from balls and parties, be they at Raffles Hotel, a government building or just a friend's house. These parties were now over, the gaiety gone, the European women either back in their home country or in Changi prison, interned as prisoners of war. Even the dressing of the courtesans and _pipa_ girls at Keong Saik Street had taken a modest turn. Once vibrant and glamorous, those she saw were gaunt and exhausted, their hair no longer shiny and pinned up in elaborate hairstyles, their eyes listless and worn.

It seemed like everything had lost its brightness; everywhere she looked, the bright colours were replaced by dull ones--in the clothes the people wore, in the paint on the walls, in the black, bombed out shells that used to be houses and buildings until a few months ago.

She was tired of it all. What had happened to the life she once knew? What had they done? She turned abruptly away from the window, not wanting to see any more. The bright red silk of the wedding gown on the bed was a disquieting exception, standing out amid the drabness. She looked away--she did not want to be reminded.

It was the most grand and splendid dress in her closet; she had painstakingly embroidered it ever since she was thirteen, under the guidance of her sisters [Note: In those days, it was common practice for young girls to start getting their wedding gowns ready from a young age, embroidering and sewing them so that by the time of their weddings, their masterpieces would be ready.) She had often dreamt of wearing it someday, marrying her true love, the one she wanted to spend her life with. Who would have guessed that this dream would come to nought?

Didn't Aoshi understand the underlying connotations when she told him she was getting married? It wasn't simply for the sake of informing him, she had hoped that if he had feelings for her, he would save her from this marriage...take her away with him, claim her as his. But she had not counted on his thick headedness. Or were his feelings for her just a figment of her imagination?

His eyes had revealed nothing, even in their intensity.

Two days--no, a little less than that, it was already at night on Saturday. Like Xiao Xun's, it would be a simple wedding, one with just family and a few friends.

_Family..._her thoughts returned to her brothers, missing in action. There had been no funeral; the family was still clinging to the hope that they were still alive and in hiding somewhere and a funeral would not be auspicious. Thus, Cao could still get married as the family was not in mourning. [In Chinese tradition, if there is a death in the family, after a hundred days from the death, nobody in the family is supposed to get married for three years.] 

She had not seen Cilang since the day they met, he was probably busy getting ready for the wedding as well. Jin and Zeng had been busy making paper cuts of the symbol for "Double Happiness", while the bride-to-be was ironically less enthusiastic about the wedding than they were.

She sank onto her bed, surprised to feel tears flow down her face. Less than 48 hours, and she would have a new family...a new name...a new life. She was supposed to be happy, it was going to be the biggest day in her life, getting married. But no matter how much she tried to force a smile onto her face, she could not.

_Juandian Cao, are you going to resign yourself to your fate just like that?!_ The sudden surge of determination took her by surprise. _What's happened to you? You, of all people, should not be giving up just like this!_

_"...__if we were meant to be together we will be, and nothing's going to stop us!" _Her words to Jin slammed back into her head with force.

_"But I don't care, as long as Aoshi and I have a chance to be together, I don't care what happens!"_

How could she give up now, after all that she had said? The memories flooded back--the times he had rescued her, the care he had shown her that night...the stolen kiss...he must have felt something, or he wouldn't have done all that! His eyes seldom revealed his emotions, but the few times they did, it had been more than plain affection that had flickered in them.

She clenched her fists, and stood up resolutely. She wasn't about to resign herself like that. One last try...one last try...

Before she knew what she was doing, she was rushing down the stairs, with Zeng yelling out after her, horrified. "Xiao Cao! Where are you going! It's already nine o' clock! Don't be silly and come back now!" But Cao didn't care, she just want to get away from them, and to _him,_ as soon as possible.

She found herself on the street. It was pitch dark, save for some dim street lamps and the moonlight. Forcing herself to be brave, she ran-- to where, she didn't know or care. It reminded her of that night she set out to find her brothers, and there was that same feeling of loss in her heart. 

A bright light. She blinked, and bumped into someone--or something hard. The light shone in her face. Her heart skipped a beat. _What if..._

"What are you doing out here so late?" a familiar voice asked. She looked up.

"Aoshi!" she gasped. And a rush of emotions surged through her, from relief to pain to hurt and a lot more she just could not fathom. 

His greyish blue eyes burned right through her. "A young girl shouldn't be out here so late, when the streets are deserted. Who knows what might happened to you if I didn't happen to have sentry duty around here?" he asked reproachfully. His tone was cold, but still carried a touch of concern in it. And the relief of hearing a familiar voice unnerved Cao so much that she simply collapsed onto his shoulder, sobbing, not caring about what had happened between them. She didn't care if she was already engaged...she didn't care anymore, she just wanted to be with him, in his arms...

His arms wrapped themselves around her awkwardly, holding her closer to him as he tried to comfort her. She held on tighter to him, as he stroked her back reassuringly. "What's wrong? Cao, what's wrong? Don't worry, I'm here, just tell me..." He felt a little guilty, they weren't supposed to be doing this--he had no right to hold her like this. But he didn't want to let go, ever again, and his arms involuntarily held her closer to him. The flurry of feelings that gushed through him was too much to bear, and he knew he was losing control of himself...and willingly let it be.

Her arms tightened around him, and she sobbed her heart out into his warm, comforting chest. They stood there like that for what seemed like hours, in the middle of a dark, deserted street, tight in embrace, neither willing to let go.

"I want to be with you, don't you understand? It's you I want to be with...you and no one else!" she wept. He held her even tighter, actions betraying unspoken feelings. "Take me with you...I want to be yours...please, Aoshi!"

Her boldness and passion took him by surprise. Looking at the sobbing young woman in his arms, he would never have guessed that under the child-like innocence was a raging fire...a woman ready and willing to fight for what she wanted. His heart burned for her--didn't she know the risks she would be taking? He couldn't hurt her, he could not let himself do so...but still...

Their lips met. Who initiated it, they didn't know--it just happened. To them, it was just something that would follow naturally, the result of an explosion of pent-up feelings and passion. 

Everything else on the dim, quiet street that dark, silent night faded away in the instant, and there was nothing else, except for him, her, and the power of their love.

_If this is what it's like to love, I'll give up everything willingly for it..._Aoshi thought contently, intoxicated in the moment. But then his sense of judgment returned, and he suddenly pushed her away roughly.

"I'm sorry, Cao, I can't."

She shrank back, still reeling from the shock. Her eyes were filled with tears. "Why not?"

He felt so guilty...once again, she was crying. And once again, he was the cause of her tears. However, he reasoned that to have her cry just once was better than to have her weeping because of him, day after day. _Your face was meant for smiles--I don't want to take that away._

"Just because. There are many men out there who are better than me. Go back to your fiance. You'll be happier if you forget about me" His heart wrenched when he said that, but it was the truth. Watching her eyes burn with such pain as tears that should never have been there ran down her cheeks, he almost wished he could take those words back. The more she cried, the more his heart twisted and wrung. But he stood firm, and turned his back on her, unwilling to look at her any more.

"Good bye."

"Aoshi! Wait!" she called up, half hoping that he would change his mind and come back, and half knowing he wouldn't. She started to run after him, but he didn't even give her a glance, striding on. Vision blurred by tears, she stumbled, and fell to her knees.

"Aoshi..." she wept. Summoning her courage and what was left of her energy, she shouted after him. 

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! _YOU_ ARE THE ONLY ONE I WANT TO BE WITH AND THAT'S THAT! THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU'LL BE WALKING AWAY FROM ME, SHINOMORI AOSHI, AND I'LL MAKE SURE OF THAT!" Having run out of breath, she collapsed into tears, each heart wrenching sob gripping his heart and twisting it. But he forced himself to ignore it, to harden his heart and continue, even though the pain was getting unbearable.

She could only gaze helplessly at his retreating back, even as the rain began to fall.

He stepped momentarily out of his hiding place behind a pillar, heart aching yet moved by the love the young couple had for each other. He had guessed and accepted long ago that she had someone in her heart, and that someone was not, and would never be him. 

As a friend of Cao's, he had hoped to take care of her after their marriage, it was the least he could do as a husband. But now, having witnessed the strength of her love for the other man--no, their love for each other--with his very own eyes, he realised that it wasn't the best thing to do. 

He knew what else he could do to help her though, and this time, just as a friend. With resolution in his eyes, Zong Cilang made his way toward the torn, sobbing young woman on the streets. 

He would do what he had to do the next day. For now, his priority was to help her up and bring her home--as a friend, and no more.

Tbc...

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone! Gong Xi Fa Cai/ Kung Hei Fatt Choy/ Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu!

It's pretty obvious this fic has reached its climax here, and will continue to stay at the climax for the next chapter...

I have to admit, I was intending to kill off the four comrades, but since you all here aren't so keen to see that...just stay tuned for the next chapter! 

I know I promised to try to update my chapters weekly, but I've realised that this isn't so possible as things are rather busy this year. Fortnightly instead? :) Sorry to all my disappointed readers!


	10. Confrontations

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. _

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Kaoru: Xiao Xun/ Xun  
Kenshin: Jian Xin  
Kanryuu: Guan Liu  
Sanosuke: Zuo Zhi Zhu/ Xiangle  
Soujiro: Zong Cilang  


Chapter 9: Confrontation

She was in a daze.

She knew she was supposed to be busy preparing for her wedding--after all, it was the next day. But she just could not bring herself to do it.

The night before, Cilang had suddenly appeared out of no where, helped her up and sheltered her all the way home. He had been so nice to her that she felt bad about loving another.

She wondered if he had seen them, but he had made no mention of it. When she had asked him what he was doing out there so late at night, he had merely replied that he was on his way home from making a delivery to the military camp, and had seen her out in the rain--all that with a smile. At least Aoshi's eyes sometimes told what he was feeling, with Cilang it was so hard.

But Aoshi had rejected her. She tried to force herself not to think about it, but she could not. Everywhere she turned, she saw the red of wedding decorations, which reminded her of her wedding, and of Cilang and Aoshi. 

Why? Why had he done that? She knew he had feelings for her, she was a hundred percent sure now, after last night...but why did he push her away? He had told her that there were better men around than him. It was true, but shouldn't he have known better? She didn't care if he wasn't the best man in the world for her, he was the best she knew...the one she loved. To her, love was everything, and nothing else mattered

Why? He had not even turned back to look at her? Was he merely playing with her feelings? She doubted it, his eyes couldn't lie. She had seen love in them, she was sure, just before their passionate kiss. So why? Could it be that he thought she was unworthy of him? Perhaps...perhaps it was because she was not a Japanese woman. Or maybe it was because she was such a tomboy, not the demure gentle type which was practically every man's dream wife.

The feel of his lips on hers was still fresh, but then so was the pain in her heart. Did he really mean it? The signals he was sending confused her--if he didn't share her feelings for him, why had he kissed her and...done so much for her? But if he loved her, why had he pushed her away so heartlessly and walked away?

Her mind was full of questions, but how they would be answered, she did not know. She did not know what to do any more.

The only thing she could do for now was sit there and await what fate had planned for her.

***

Zong Cilang flashed his pass and walked into the military camp. It was just by luck that he happened to have to make a photo delivery to some soldiers that day, which saved him from the trouble of figuring out some way to get himself into the camp. 

_Shinomori Aoshi..._Jin had disclosed the officer's name to him when he had asked. 

_"Are you sure you want to do this?"_ she had asked him when he had inquired about the officer, and told her that he intended to break the engagement.

_"It's for the best. Cao will be happier with someone she loves."_ He was certain about it, and did not regret it. Yes, it was the best he could do as a friend.

Making the delivery, he asked the recipient, a friendly private who had been a regular customer at the photo shop even before the war, where he could find Shinomori Aoshi. The private pointed toward toward the back, where the higher ranking officers stayed. "You should be able to find him somewhere around there," he informed.

And so, Cilang found himself wandering around the rows of barracks, searching for any sign of the tall officer. There was no sign of anyone around, it was after all a Sunday and most of the soldiers were either making merry or on duty somewhere.

A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to jump in shock. 

"What are you doing here?" A strangely familiar voice demanded in a slight foreign accent, the tone so cold that it felt as if the country had suddenly frozen over. "This place is out of bounds to strangers."

Getting over his initial alarm, Cilang turned around to face the person confronting him. Another wave of surprise washed through him as he realised who the person was.

A face as emotionless as a mask...intense eyes in a cold glare at him, complete with a scowl. The person he had been looking for was now right in front of him. 

He had come with the boldest of all hearts, intending to talk to him about Cao...the girl they both loved, one more than the other. In his mind, he had planned how it would all go, what he would say, and was certain that he would have enough confidence to pull it off. Why was it then that he was so unnerved now that he was face to face with the other party?

"What business do you have here? Who are you looking for?" The initial frostiness in Aoshi's eyes was now replaced by curiosity. 

"I-I was looking for you...you are Shinomori Aoshi aren't you?"

The officer arched an eyebrow, astonished by the young man's audacity. "Yes I am. What are you looking for me about?"

Cilang took a deep breath. "It's about Cao..."

Now it was Aoshi's turn to be stunned. "How are you related to her?" he asked in a low growl. All along, he had assumed that nobody else besides his friends and her family knew. Now this strange...boy had turned up and wanted to talk about her.

"I am Zong Cilang. Her fiance." Cilang held his breath. 

A mix of emotions coursed through Aoshi--shock, astonishment, wonder and finally anticipation. _Her fiance..._he surveyed Cilang closely, noting the never-waning grin on his face. _Does he have to smile all the time?_ Somehow, that smile irked him a little. It was only a little while later that he realised why--for years, he had not shown such outward pleasure as well as any other emotions. The unwavering smile on Cilang's face was, to Aoshi, a symbol of what Cilang had and he did not--the carefree ness and ability to express inward emotions. What he did not know then was that like his rigid mask of a face, Cilang's smile, too, served to hide any unfavourable emotions he might have.

_A husband who will smile all the time for her...this is what she deserves._ He had to admit defeat in that sense. No--defeat? Since when had he been fighting with her fiancé for her? Even if he had, since when had the word 'defeat' been in the vocabulary of Shinomori Aoshi, major in the Nippon Army and okashira of the Oniwabanshuu?

He was careful not to let his emotions show through, and looked at the younger man with anticipation. "What about her?" he asked, his voice unintentionally taking a softer tone which did not go unnoticed by Cilang.

"Officer Shinomori...I just need to tell you something...Cao has been extremely depressed and miserable since yesterday."

Aoshi kept quiet, an expecting look in his eyes. Cilang took another deep breath and continued.

"This engagement was not her choice...it was against her will, and I believe she will not be any happier if the marriage goes on. She and I...there is nothing between us, we are just friends. You're the one whom she loves...and the one who truly loves her. You two were meant to be together."

"I see." Was it a figment of his imagination or did the officer look a little resigned? "Why all this? You must love her, or you wouldn't be standing here telling me all this and being so concerned about her happiness."

"I used to think I loved her that way..." Cilang confided softly, "but my love for her cannot be compared to yours. I love her as no more than a friend now. Besides, you're the one her heart belongs to, and nothing can change that. You can't deny it any more, even a fool would be able to see how much you love each other. I have heard how much you've protected her, and helped her...Shinomori Aoshi, you pretend to have no emotions but the way you look at her, and talk about her, tells everything. I'm a man too, I know that you rejected her last night not because you didn't love her, but because you don't want to hurt her. But by doing so, you hurt her even more." He paused to let the words sink in. "I can't give her happiness because I can never love her the way you do, I was being selfish thinking I could make her happy by marrying her and taking care of her. But last night, you both proved me wrong...I saw you two accidentally, but it was enough to make me realise I didn't love her the most. You're the only one who can give her happiness, Shinomori Aoshi."

Aoshi's eyes were wide in astonishment. Cilang's words were the truths which he had known long ago, in his heart, but refused to believe. 

There was a long pause before Aoshi finally spoke

"But I am not worthy of her," he said softly. "You have no idea how many I have killed...how many people's blood I have on my hands. I don't deserve her, she deserves someone untainted like you. Besides, even if we were to be together, it would only bring her pain. Tongues will wag, and people will view her as nothing more than a loose woman--a whore. And I have made her cry...not just once, but more than that. Someone who loved her as much as you said I do would not make her cry for him."

"Don't you think she knows that? But she doesn't care--Cao doesn't care, and I believe she has told you that many times over. As long as you can be together, as long as you love each other, she doesn't care what happens. She's stronger than you think, and even I, who have known her for less than a week, can see that. When she loves, she loves passionately, unfalteringly. And she loves you, enough to see beyond those faults. Only you can make up for her tears...only you can make her smile again. You know, Aoshi? She hasn't smiled since the engagement, and without you, I don't think she ever will again. Don't let her lose her laughter, Aoshi, you're the only one who can bring it back to her." Cilang paused for effect. "I will be calling off the wedding. The rest is up to you--the sooner, the better. Don't let her down, Shinomori Aoshi--don't let yourself and everyone else down. It is only when one is with one's true love that one will be happy." He bowed in respect. "Think it over. I'm going."

And so he left, leaving Aoshi in deep thought.

-----

Aoshi was still in deep thought even as he set off with his four men, into the isolated forest where they planned to lay their ambush and catch Kanryuu red-handed. 

_Although he usually checks up thoroughly on his customers-to-be, he was too neglectful this time,_ Aoshi thought to himself, satisfied. He had enlisted the help of a Formosan detective who had lived in Syonan even before the occupation for that. Nobu Tadashi (Chen Zhong) had played his part so convincingly that Kanryuu had not even guessed that he was a spy sent to report on his activities, and not a resistance leader interested in obtaining arms from him.

With the information which Tadashi had passed to him, Aoshi had enough evidence of Kanryuu's guilt. It was not enough, however, and the only thing he could do to make sure Kanryuu was brought to justice was to catch him in the midst of a transaction. As Kanryuu had been extremely secretive about transaction details, all details of the 'exchange' were left to nearly the last minute. Immediately after obtaining the details, Tadashi had reported to Aoshi, giving him enough information to catch Kanryuu by surprise on the day of the transaction.

And after that was done...after that was done, it will be one major thing settled once and for all. The other major thing on his mind was still far from being resolved though, and Aoshi kept replaying in his mind what Cao's fiance had told him earlier in the day.

_Are you so sure you want to be with me, Cao? You don't have any way of knowing how much I've done...Will you feel the same if you knew? Do you really want to end up with a killer who has no remorse for what he's done?_ Of course, he wanted her to be happy...he would do anything to make sure she was. And if their being happy would make her truely happy, he would not object.

He closed his eyes and tried to take his mind away from the matter. He had to concentrate on the mission...just for a while, then after that he could think about her as much as he wanted. Capturing Kanryuu was of utmost priority for now, and he could not afford to let personal matters affect him. He could not let Kanryuu slip through the net--he could not fail!

Yet...Aoshi sighed, thinking about a time not so long ago, when he could complete missions without getting distracted at all. This was exactly why he had tried so hard to stay away from emotions such as this--love. It was only without anyone else to think about and consider that he could concentrate on the various missions he was sent on, most of them extremely risky--one wrong step could cost him his life.

Before he met Cao, as long as those missions were accomplished, he did not care whether he lived or died. To be a honorable soldier, to uphold the warrior's spirit which had been impressed into him his whole life, was to live in honor, and die in honor, for the Emperor and the country. If he was ever given a choice between living in shame, and dying in honour, he would choose the latter without hesitation.

But now, with her in her life, everything was different. She wasn't someone to die for--she was someone to _live_ for, to cherish and love his whole life and even after that.

A reason to live...no excuse to die...he didn't want tears to stain her face ever again. He clenched his fists. No matter what, he would make sure he did his best. He wouldn't give up his life so easily any more.

In the distance, a small attap hut came into view. Tumble-down and ruined, passers-by who gave it a glance would have the mistaken impression that it was abandoned. In fact, this could not be further from the truth. Unknown even to most of the members of the underground resistance, this deceptively dilapidated hut was in fact a well-disguised store for the meagre amount of weapons which the resistance had. It was to this forest, and to this hut, that Kanryuu and his men would sneak small amounts of artillery such as grenades and bullets, all under the cover of the night. Believing the bluff that 'Chen Zhong' was one of the resistance while in actual fact he was a spy working for the Japanese, Kanryuu had agreed to deliver the goods to that same hut.

The sun was already beginning to set as the five men took up their positions among the trees and shadows, blending so well in that only someone skilled and experienced enough would notice them. 

And they waited.

Judging by the growing darkness and the few stars that had already appeared in the sky, it was already 9 o' clock. [note: This is Tokyo time, (according to '_War and Memory in Malaysia and Singapore_') which was 1 1/2 hours ahead and used during the Occupation] Any time now...

The five men kept as silent as possible, the seconds ticking away into minutes, which felt like hours. It was not before the whole forest was pitch dark, save for the moonlight and the few scattered stars. Luckily, Aoshi and company had extraordinary night vision, the result of vigorous ninja training since young; the darkness did not affect them in any way. In fact, it was ignoring the irritating mosquitoes which buzzed around them that proved to be a harder job. It involved extreme patience and self control. With the exception of Aoshi, they were all increasingly annoyed by the incessant buzzing, but had to keep extremely calm and still so that they would not give themselves away.

After what seemed like eternity, there was finally some sign of their target. The cracking of twigs pierced through the crickets' hums and the frogs' croaking. A bright light suddenly cut through the trees, into the clearing, as the soft roaring of a car engine grew louder the nearer it came toward the five hiding among the shadows.

He was finally there. As Aoshi watched, the car--a military vehicle, to his outrage--stopped right in front of the hut. The driver's door opened, and Kanryuu stepped out, in all his self-satisfaction and smugness. The despicable smirk on his face irked Aoshi, and it took up nearly all his self control to restrain himself from rushing out of his hiding place and slashing the traitor to pieces with his _kodachi_. 

A man came out of the hut to meet Kanryuu--Tadashi. Some words were exchanged, but in voices so low that even Aoshi, with his exceptionally sharp ears, could not catch what they were saying. Finally, the other man nodded, and Kanryuu motioned to one of his men, who opened the back door of the car and reached in, as if to take out something. The 'client', too, motioned to his companion to get something out of the hut.

Was it his imagination or was there a note of mutual resentment among supplier and buyer? Aoshi saw distrust flicker in both men's eyes as they looked at each other. He, in part, pitied the resistance fighter a little, the latter having no choice but to obtain weapons from the enemy--what could be more shameful?

After a while, the assistants of both sides brought out their respective good--grenades and other firearms hidden in sacks, and a briefcase of something.

_"Yi1 shou3 jiao1 qian2 yi1 shou3 jiao1 huo4, _[Exchange the goods and the money at the same time]" the resistance leader told Kanryuu. Aoshi shot his four friends a furtive glance, and they nodded--it was about time to act.

The moment both sides were about to hand over their respective items to each other, Aoshi and gang sprang out from the surrounding foliage in an ambush, rifles and swords in hand. The guilty parties were at once taken by surprise, stunned in astonishment.

Without wasting his breath, Aoshi announced in a cold, emotionless voice, "_Takeda Kanryuu, you are under under arrest for providing arms and weapons to subversive forces and aiding them to overthrow the military administration, hereby betraying the Emperor and the country. For that, you will face severe punishment. Drop all your weapons and surrender."_

Kanryuu's mouth dropped wide open, and he turned toward his Tadashi/Chen Zhong, only to receive the unpleasant surprise of realising that his 'customer' was pointing a revolver to his head.

He and his men were surrounded, and there was no way he could break free; what little fighting skills he had were no match for Aoshi and the other four. trying to make a run for it was also not advisable, judging from the gun pointed to his head, its cold butt pressed against his forehead...

"_Move and I'll shoot,"_ Tadashi hissed. Pale with fear, Kanryuu remained still as all his pockets were searched and emptied of any weapons. His two companions were also forced to do likewise.

The three captives were nudged toward a part of the forest with particularly dense foliage, where Aoshi had hidden their military car. While the others held the captives firmly to make sure they could not escape, Beshimi and Hannya tied their hands tightly together with strong rope.

Suddenly, Kanryuu kicked Tadashi hard in the shin, causing the detective to moan in pain and lose grip of the revolver as he fell to the ground. Shoving Beshimi aside, he ran back in the direction they had come from.

Quick as a flash, Aoshi went after him, calling out for Tadashi to guard the other two prisoners, whose hands had already been bound tightly. He and his four friends followed Kanryuu back to the hut, only to realise that they had suddenly lost sight of him.

Aoshi berated himself severely. After all his efforts, he could not let Kanryuu go off scot-free this time! Not only was it a loss of honour, it would also mean that Tadashi, who was also an important informant on the dealings of the resistance, risked having his real identity exposed, which would result in chaos.

"_Takeda Kanryuu, if you consider yourself a real man, face up to your deeds and show yourself now!"_ Aoshi yelled, his voice reverberating around the whole forest. 

A few seconds, before his command was replied with a sinister, cackling laugh from behind him. The whole group turned, only to see Kanryuu--a machine gun in one hand and Cao in the other!

"_You took me by surprise just now, Major Shinomori, now it is my turn to turn the tables around, one step closer and I'll depose of your beloved woman._" Kanryuu cackled gleefully. _"You know too much to live, you and your gang. You'll never get me, _Major. " He said the title in the mocking tone, as if using it to spite Aoshi. His hands were around her neck, as if about to strangle her. The fear in Cao's eyes was obvious, but she was trying to contain it, to remain brave.

Aoshi had never been so angry in his life--this bastard had actually kidnapped Cao to threaten him! A fire burned, deep and dangerous, in his eyes, and if looks could kill, Kanryuu would have been pulverized--burned into ashes by the fiery fire of his fury. He tried desperately to regain his self control, but how could he when his most beloved was in danger?

"_Whether that is so is not up to you to decide."_ He tried to remain calm, but the lives of his loved ones were in danger. He he tried to save his friends, he could lose Cao. And if he tried to save her, he would lose his friends. Swords, rifles, kicks and punches were no match for a machine gun.

"_Smart, aren't I? I somehow guessed that you'd be on to me today. So I decided to take precautions." _ Another gleeful laugh._ "A good woman you have here, Shinomori, I can say she's a good fighter. But such a pity...no match for me. And a bad decision on her part, thinking you wanted to meet her."_

_"Takeda Kanryuu, you bastard, let go of her. Where's your honour, using a girl to threaten me like this? Let go of her!"_

"_Ah, the great Major Shinomori begging me...all because of a woman. It is amazing how a weak spot can change people. But fat hope--you know I won't."_ Kanryuu was basking in self-satisfaction. _"Yes, **Major Shinomori**, Takeda Kanryuu is smarter than you think. I don't care about honour, like you do. Shinomori Aoshi, if you're a man, face up to your fate and surrender yourself,"_ he grinned, repeating almost exactly the same words Aoshi had said just a few moments ago.

"Aoshi, Don't worry about me!" Cao's voice broke in. "He can't do anything to m--arrgh!" Her shriek of agony as Kanryuu gripped her neck tightly pierced into Aoshi's heart.

"_What do you want?_" he asked Kanryuu, his voice choked with emotion.

"_I want you all dead,"_ Kanryuu growled.

"Don't give in to him, Aoshi! It's what you believe in that matters! After what he has done, you can't let him get away just like that," Cao pleaded, getting a slap from Kanryuu in return.

"_You really should take your woman in hand, Shinomori. Women should be seen and not heard,_" Kanryuu growled. Aoshi bristled in anger. _"Now stay still and I'll let you die a quick death by your own hand. If you dare to put up a struggle, I promise you that you--and your woman--will die slowly and painfully."_ His face took on an even more sinister look._ "How would you like to see your woman ravaged right in front of you?"_

_"I swear you won't get away with this, Kanryuu!"_ Aoshi growled menacingly.

"_Aoshi-sama, don't worry about us! It's the girl you need to save,"_ Hannya urged, speaking for all four of them. _"We can protect ourselves, it's the girl who's in the most danger."_

To their horror, their Okashira unsheathed his sword, and pressed it against his throat. "_You'll get what you wish..."_ he told Kanryuu, who was surprised but pleased with himself.

Cao, too, was extremely horrified at the sight of Aoshi resigning himself like this. _How could he? I'd rather die than see him like this! _ A criminal had to be brought to justice, and she would willingly give her own life up for that...for Aoshi. She knew that for him to surrender like this was extremely dishonorable, and he was dishonoring himself to save her. And she could not let it happen!

"No! The Aoshi I know wouldn't do this, he'd fight brilliantly and wouldn't die just like this! He wouldn't give himself up just for a girl...he was a honorable man! Aoshi, if you die, I'll go with you! I told you I won't ever let you walk away from me again, and I WON'T! I'm not going to let you leave me alone again!" She was in tears. "Even if you--you die right now it's going to be in vain, because I swear that wherever you go, be it heaven or hell, I'll follow you! I'm nothing, Aoshi, I'm not worth your life..."

"You're not nothing...you're not just any girl...not to me," he whispered to her softly as he slowly drew the sword across his throat...

...and lunged at Kanryuu with it. This sudden, unexpected turn of events took everyone by shock, Kanryuu especially-- the satisfied look on his face immediately changed into one of shock and terror. Knocked onto the ground by the sudden lunge, he let go of Cao, the machine gun falling from his hands.

"_I told you you wouldn't get away with this," _ Aoshi snarled as he and his men surrounded Kanryuu. He pressed his sword against Kanryuu's throat. "_Be grateful that I'm not going to kill you...not now. You want my life? Never!"_

"_I give up--I give up--please don't hurt me, I'll do anything you want..._" Kanryuu begged, beads of cold sweat on his face. His promises seemed genuine, but none of them noticed that Kanryuu was stealthily reaching into a hidden pocket in his trousers...

_"Famous last words, Shinomori," _ Kanryuu hissed, finally freeing the object he wanted from the pocket. Aoshi's eyes widened when he saw what the other man had in his hand.

"Everybody, back off!" 

As Kanryuu threw the grenade, all of them dived for cover, and Aoshi pushed Cao out of the way. The grenade exploded into the hut, setting off a string of explosions as dynamite and other explosives exploded. Debris flew in all directions, and it rained rubble. Some of it hit them, and Kanryuu was knocked out. The roar of the explosions was deafening, as if a zillion volcanoes had erupted...as if a thousand planes were flying past.

And finally, it was over. Cao first opened one eye, then the other, then finally becoming aware of the weight on top of her. 

Aoshi was holding her in his arms, protecting her, never wanting to let go again. A trickle of blood ran down his forehead; he had been struck by a small piece of shrapnel. For a moment, she was afraid...so afraid that this time, he had really given his life for hers. "Aoshi?" She begged the gods up in heaven to protect Aoshi just as he had protected her, to not take him away from her this time..."Aoshi...you can't leave me!"

Her prayers were answered as his eyes slowly opened, to meet his beloved's teary face. 

"Cao, I'm still here...I won't die...I won't leave you. Please don't cry." He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

Overcome by relief, she threw herself into his chest, sobbing, out of fear, relief and gratefulness. "If you ever left me I won't forgive you. Idiot, you gave me a shock just now and I'm not going to let you get away with it. You're not going to leave me alone ever again."

"I know." He smiled. "Wherever _you_ go, I'll follow, even if it's to hell."

"Copycat." She smiled back at him through her tears. Then, her face turned serious. "I hope the four of them are all right."

"Let's go and make sure." He tried standing up, and winced at the pain in his chest and leg.

"Aoshi, you're bleeding!" Even in the dark night, one could still see the dark, growing wet spots that stained his trousers and jacket.

"It's just a slight injury. I'll be fine." He heaved himself up and limped back laboriously.

Where the hut had once been was a flaming inferno. Red, angry flames were consuming the ruins, and the heat could be felt from miles away. Kanryuu lay a few metres away from it, still alive but unconscious, face disfigured by the blast.

They found Hannya, barely alive and bleeding profusely from the head. Aoshi bent down, still stunned. "Hannya..."

He turned his head, he could barely keep his eyes open, so swollen they were. "_Aoshi-sama...I promised you I'd serve your for as long as I lived. I'm afraid I can't do so for much longer now...I have let you down, I can't protect you any longer."_

_"Please don't say that."_ Aoshi's voice was full of emotion, and one who didn't know better would have sworn he was about to cry, faced with the prospect of losing a loyal comrade, and a good friend. _"You won't die._"

"Hannya-kun...please don't die..." Cao's eyes were full of tears. "You won't die, because heaven won't let good people such as you and the rest of them die so easily. The gods will protect you..." she broke down and started sobbing again.

Hannya looked at him weakly. _"I have a last wish, Aoshi-sama, will you make it come true?"_

Aoshi nodded. _"As long as it's within my means, I will. And if it isn't, I'll make it come true somehow."_

Hannya smiled at that. "_You have a treasure in your hands, take good care of it. Marry the girl, Aoshi-sama. It's always been my greatest wish...to see you and Cao-chan end up together. If these are to be my last words to you, so be it: Marry the girl. I'll be watching over you two from heaven above. Marry the girl, Aoshi-sama."_

Choked with sadness, Aoshi nodded. "_I will...I will."_

Appeased, Hannya closed his eyes and drifted away, a smile on his lips...

Tbc..

Don't worry, I won't be breaking my promise of not killing them!

A late greeting, but Happy Valentine's Day! It isn't often that both the 'Western' Valentine's Day and 'Chinese' Valentine's Day end up one day after the other, ne? Yup, 15th February was Yuan Xiao Jie, the 15th and last day of CNY--and also, another day for couples--the 'Chinese Valentine's Day'.

What a romantic week...I hope this fic was romantic enough to fit the mood. 

Thank you to everyone for their kind and encouraging reviews, you make me determined not to let you all down :)


	11. Sworn Siblings

All For Love

_Disclaimers apply. No offence is intended to anyone. _

Misao: Cao, or Xiao Cao   
Omasu: Zeng/Ah Zeng  
Okon: Jin/Ah Jin  
Okina: Lao Die (Old Father)  
Megumi: Hui/ Xiao Hui  
Soujiro: Zong Cilang 

Chapter 10: Sworn Siblings

_He closed his eyes and drifted away..._

_"Hannya!" Cao cried out on horror, reaching out to him. Tears filled her eyes as she shook him gently. "You can't die just like this...!" If she hadn't been there, if she hadn't let herself be used by them...if she hadn't fallen for Kanryuu's trick and let herself be used to threaten Aoshi, perhaps all this would not have happened..._

With a start, she jolted awake. The rays of sunlight streamed through the open window, and the realization that it was already morning gave her a sense of relief as she recalled the happenings of the night before. 

They had been so worried when Hannya had lost consciousness, especially when he appeared to be dead. Luckily, a check of his pulse proved otherwise, although he did appear to have quite severe injuries. Beshimi, Hyottoko and Shikijou, luckily, had escaped with minor scrapes and bruises. It was they who had taken her home in the early hours of the day, delivering her right into her family's relieved arms (after all, she had been missing since afternoon). Aoshi had wanted to do so, but the wounds he had sustained in his leg and chest, though not extremely serious, were not superficial either. It had taken a lot of persuasion from both Cao and the other three before Aoshi had finally agreed (albeit reluctantly) to go with Hannya to the clinic to have his wounds treated. He had been insisting all the way that wounds usually looked more serious that they really were, but seeing him limp had been the last straw--she had threatened to break all ties with him if he didn't go, and that was what had convinced him to go to the doctor.

Much as she wished she could stay with Hannya, Aoshi and the rest of them, Cao did realise that her family would be extremely worried. Besides, she was getting married...that day...

She closed her eyes, letting a tear roll down her cheek. Why? Why did the gods in heaven play such a trick on her? She could still feel _his _closeness, as he held her in his arms the night before, comforting and protecting her. Why had heaven brought them close only to break them apart again?

There was nothing she could do about the marriage...she had tried so many times already, there was nothing else she could do now. She could only be a good girl and...

A sharp rapping on her door shook her out of her thoughts, and she turned, not even bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Cao..." Jin, face solemn, started, only to stop short at the sight of the younger girl's tear-stained face.

"Are you...still thinking about _him_?" She asked gently. Cao turned away, wiping the tears from her eyes with her hand. She walked toward the chair in front of the dresser, where the intricately embroidered wedding gown rested, its gay red contradicting it's owner's feelings at that moment.

"I guess I shouldn't be, should I...? It is unfair to Master Zong, isn't it?" Cao asked. "I think I'd better get dressed..." With a heavy heart, she lifted both pieces of the gown, its lustrous silk slippery to her fingers.

So magnificent...so lovely...it was supposed to be a happy day. But why did the smile she forced on her face feel so fake? Even the gown, which she had so looked forward to wearing, did not look so welcoming any more. Her mind was supposed to be on her bridegroom, and her bridegroom only, yet why could she only think of someone else?

Before she could stop herself, a gush of hot tears ran down her cheeks again.

"Cao..." she felt Jin's hand on her shoulder. "I understand..."

She finally turned, her eyes brimming with tears of both sadness and frustration. "You don't! You think but you don't, but you're not me. You've never had to marry someone you hardly know!"

"Cao--"

"Don't say any more, please! I will marry Master Zong....I don't have any choice anyway..." Her face twisted with torment as she tried to control her feelings. "I--I can't do anything anymore..."

"Cao...listen to me, please!" Jin practically yelled. Cao fell silent and looked up at her, tears flowing uncontrollably.

"There isn't going to be any wedding...not today. Master Zong wants to call off the wedding. He's here now." Jin paused for effect. "And he wants to see you."

Cao felt the colour drain from her face. _Wanted to call off the wedding_? Why? Was there something wrong with her? Although she did not really want to marry Cilang, she was still full of questions about the calling off of the wedding. _Could it be that...he knows?_

Quickly, she rid her face of all traces of tears and got dressed.

They were all seated in the hall, an uncomfortable silence in the air. He rose as she appeared at the entrance to the hall, his eyes full of urgency yet with a trace of care. 

" I need to talk to her alone," he told the elders. Lao Die gave his nod, and the two of them headed to the courtyard, where Cao promptly took her place on the swing. Still not looking at him, she began swinging gently as Cilang sat down opposite her.

"Why?" she finally asked after a while, her tone questioning but not pleading.

"I know about him. I know about Aoshi."

His words made her look up with a start, eyes wide in surprise. "H-how?"

His smile, still unfaltering, bore slight hints of sadness. "That night...you and him in the streets...I saw you."

Cao didn't know what to say, and so waited for him to continue.

"And then I realised that I'm not the one who can make you happy, because no matter how hard I try, your heart will still be him. Until then, I thought no one could love you more but I guess I was wrong. He does. He risked his life to save you last night and that proves my point."

"Please don't think it's your fault, it's just that I think you'll be happier with someone whom you really love, and someone who loves you much more. You're meant to be happy, Cao, and I don't want to take that away. He can give you all the love that I can't...your happiness lies with him, not me. I can't love you as much as he does, and I guess I never will. And that's why I'm breaking off our engagement. I want you two to be together, like you were meant to be." This time, his smile was genuine.

"But what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I am a man, it will be easy for me to find a bride even after breaking an engagement. But I'd just like to let you know, Cao, that I will be there for you whenever you need me. Even if we can't be related as husband and wife, we can still be like brother and sister...sworn brother and sister." He smiled wider. "I'll be your older brother and you, my younger sister. How does that sound? Closer than friends, yet neither spouses nor blood siblings."

"Older brother and younger sister..." For the first time in a long while, Cao smiled again. "Sounds good to me, Cilang-ge." Then, the spark which had returned to her eyes so briefly suddenly vanished again, as she cast her eyes away. "But...do you think Lao Die would let me be with Aoshi?"

Silence. Cilang did not know how to reply. Which parent, or grandparent for the matter, would want to marry a beloved daughter to the enemy? He wanted to assure her, but he was not even sure himself.

"It's okay. I don't even know how to answer myself." Cao stood up, her eyes downcast. Although one problem was out of the way, there was another yet to be solved. Lao Die loved her as if she were his flesh and blood granddaughter, and with this kind of love, there were two things he could do--to let her be happy and allow her to be the one she loved, or to protect her by keeping those who may harm her away.

Which action would he choose?

She didn't even know whether to laugh or cry--in fact, she felt like doing both. To laugh, because she was free to be with the one she really wanted to be with; to cry, because she was touched by what Cilang had done, and because she was unsure...unsure of what lay ahead...and lastly, because she wanted to be with Aoshi so much...so much that she couldn't bear the thought of being without him. 

"Thank you so much, Cilang-ge..." she whispered. His smile never wavered, though closer observers would have noticed the hint of sadness in it.

"I wish you two the best," he told her gently, eyes full of sincerity. She smiled back. 

"Thank you," she whispered again, as she headed back into the house. As he watched her disappear into the distance, Cilang made a silent vow: _No matter what, I will protect you...just as a brother will protect his sister. Aoshi, you had better take good care of her!_

No sooner had Cao stepped back into the main hall that there was a loud, urgent knocking on the door. Hesitating, it was a while before Jin cautiously went to answer it, Cao close behind her. 

The moment she caught sight of the unexpected visitor, Jin's mouth fell open in shock. Curious, Cao stepped up beside her. The first thing her eyes came into contact with was the deep, olive green of a Japanese military uniform, followed by the bandaged leg.

Then, their eyes met, and she saw the longing and love that cursed through them At that moment, she really felt like crying.

They stood there silently for a while, neither saying a word, neither moving, just taking in the sight of each other. Cao's eyes fell down to the bandage on his leg, and the pained way he leaned against Shikijou who was supporting him.

"You should be resting..." she told him gently, the tenderness in her eyes obvious to all.

"No...I had to come." He had a determined look about him, even as he shifted his glance to Jin who had recovered from her initial shock.

"I have come to ask for Cao's hand in marriage."

This time, Jin kept a calm exterior, though she must have been more stunned at this new revelation than she had been at the sight of the wounded Japanese officer right outside the door. "Please come in. This will have to be discussed with my grandfather."

Aoshi bowed in thanks and limped in, with Shikijou supporting him from behind. Every painful hobble made Cao's heart ache unbearably, especially with the knowledge that Aoshi had sustained those injuries while trying to protect her.

_If--no, when we are married, I want to make him happy--happier than he's ever been. I'll be the best wife there can ever be. _This time, her eyes were shining, bright with happiness and hope. _Please, please, Lao Die, please let Aoshi and I be together!_

The hall fell silent as Lao Die, eyeing Aoshi for the first time, gave him a critical once-over. "I understand you came to ask for my granddaughter's hand in marriage. You must know, however, that I am not selling her, or giving her away, thus I will not let just any man have her. How do I know you are worthy? You are a Japanese officer."

Aoshi took a deep breath. "Because I love her. I don't know if it's reason enough, but I love her, and will protect her for the rest of her life. Any man would find it hard to admit in front of so many, but I am not ashamed of my feelings." [Why does this sound a bit Shakespearean? Groan...must be an overdose of Twelfth Night]

"He's saved me many times, Lao Die. Yesterday, he nearly died trying to protect me. Even if you don't believe him, please believe me--I love him! He isn't what you think...he isn't inhuman like so many others. Lao Die, please let us be together," Cao begged.

Lao Die seemed to be deep in thought for a while. "You do realise what you're getting yourself into if you...marry him, don't you, Cao?" Before she could reply, he answered for her. "Knowing you, you'll do anything to get what you want no matter what stands in your way. The more obstacles you face, the harder you try." He turned to look at them. "How long has this been going on?"

"Two months."

"And I knew nothing about it?" Lao Die caught sight of the guilty looks on Jin and Zeng's faces. "You two knew and kept it from me!

"We..." Jin was at a loss for words. 

"It's not their fault. They tried to discourage me but--" 

"But true to character, you were as strong-willed as always." Lao Die sighed. "It's been your character since you were a child--when you wanted something, you'd try all ways and means to get it, regardless of what stood in your way. Marriage is not a small matter, however, and I don't want you to regret this. This is not a time to be rash, Cao."

"I know, but I'm really sure about this--I want to be with him!" Cao's eyes were beginning to fill with tears.

"No." Lao Die turned away again, not wanting anyone to see the agony his eyes betrayed. 

"Why not?!" Cao asked, her voice choked full of despair. Even Jin and Zeng looked surprised at the old man's firm disapproval. "I've found whom I've want to spend the rest of my life with..."

"You're still young, Cao, how can you be so sure? If it was any other man, than perhaps I would consider it. But he--he--Don't you know what they've done? Fine, even if he wasn't the one who did all that, do you think the other people are going to be so open-minded? I know there are people out there whom to Japanese soldiers--regardless of rank or name or anything, and those associated with them are all evil, heartless murderers. They do not see the soldiers as individuals, just a murderous tyrants. They'll seek revenge when the time is ripe, and I don't want you to be drawn into that!"

"I've made up my mind. As you said, he wasn't the one who did all that! In any war, blood is bound to be shed. It wasn't him who killed so many. He's saved so many lives, it's probably made up for all those he's taken. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Marriage is not purely about gratitude and repaying kindnesses."

"It's not, because I love him!" Cao practically yelled out, tears streaming down her face. The entire hall fell silent, as Cao fell onto her knees, having used all her energy in that proclamation. "It's not about gratitude, and I don't care what the others think...I'll bear with anything. The people can say or do anything, but as long as Aoshi and I love each other, I don't care. I don't care how many he's killed, as long as he feels remorse he's not inhuman. And I believe...that he's a good man." Unable to speak any more, she could only give in to her tears.

It was then that Aoshi, silent all the while, finally spoke up. 

"I know what the people feel about us, and I understand. I admit that my hands have been stained with the blood of many, and I can never wash it off. I am not worthy of her, I can't deny it. But I swear that I love her, and I promise I'll protect her for as long as either of us is alive. "

There was another pregnant pause before Lao Die spoke again.

"Have you forgotten about your brothers?"

_Have you forgotten about your brothers?_ The question came so suddenly, so unexpectedly, that Cao did not know what to say. _No...I haven't forgotten...how could I? _

She didn't reply.

"He could have been the one who killed them. If so, how would their spirits feel if you went with him?"

"They're not dead, you can't be sure that they are. Besides, they'd want me to be happy... Hei-_ge_ and Bai-_ge_ were--no, are not the type to pursue revenge."

"If that's what you think, then I have nothing else to say. Go with him all you want." Lao Die look resignedly at her. "There's nothing I can do to stop you."

Cao would have danced around in joy, if it had not been for a certain ominence in his tone. There was a foreboding in the air as everyone waited with bated breath for what he was going to say next.

And after a lapse of what seemed like an entire decade, her foster grandfather, who had taken care of her and brought her up all those years, finally said it.

"But from then on, you will not be related in any way with any of us any more. And you will not step into this house ever again."

tbc...

Sorry for the huge delay! My fault--first, school work and activities kept me so busy I hardly had time to write, and after all that was over I had a bad case of writer's block, especially in the middle of this chapter; I knew what was going to happen but I just didn't know how to describe it. Retyped that part many, many times but somehow everything the characters said either sounded too out of character or plain strange. I think that I was just too exhausted to think straight that time( Secondary 3 isn't as easy as i thought it'd be). At any rate, this chapter is _finally _out.

So much has been going on in the world--the SARS (Severe acute Respiratory Syndrome) outbreak, the war on Iraq...I hope this fic reminds everyone that war is never good. In a war, not only the lives of soldiers are lost, but those of innocent civilians as well. I'm not going to make any political comments as the whole thing is beyond my understanding, but to me no side is entirely innocent.

As for the SARS outbreak, even though school has been closed until April 6 here, it's not really a cause for celebration...(whines) I'd rather have my full June holidays than be cooped up at home! Can't go out too much :P But then again, this does lower the risk of catching the bug, as well as gives me more time to 1. complete this chapter and hopefully the next chapter as well 2. finish up 2 school projects which would otherwise have been way underdone 3. Finish reading my _Kaze Hikaru _comics and 4. Catch up on Math revision (which is awfully important considering the 2 F9s I got...)

Until the next chapter, take care of yourselves (Don't let the SARS bug bite!) and let there be peace soon.


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